Be sure to order tickets for our next PurityTalks event. Girls ages 13 and up won't want to miss this!
http://www.olmstedperformingarts.com/events/event/puritytalks-conference-girl-2-girl-chats-about-self-image-dating-sex-purity/
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
Mother/Daughter Chats
I was talking with a father the other day and he said something that shocked me. He told me that he had a 15 year old daughter and he was throwing her a birthday party. He wanted to plan a role playing game so that her and her friends could do something fun and different since they were all theater girls. He was planning on being the MC for the night and kind of walk the girls through the game. I was impressed at first because I thought this man was trying to relate and be a part of his daughters life. I told him how impressed I was at his involvement and he said, " No way, I'm just trying to make her happy. All she does is yell at me and I'm trying to get her out of the house. I'm not trying to make friends with her. She is driving me crazy. "
And he was serious. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. How sad for him to give up on his 15year old when that age is when she'll need her daddy the most. Just because she says she wanted him out of her life, does not REALLY mean that she does.
Since the moment my daughters were born I couldn't wait to have girl to girl chats with them as they got older. I had always said that I wanted to be the kind of mom who they could talk to about anything and everything. We have always been good communicators in this little family of ours and I just knew that "these talks" would come very easily.
Wrong!!!
My daughters faces turn 50 shades of RED and they hush me every time I bring a "personal something" up. They don't even like to mention the fact that they have to shave their legs. They are totally embarrassed by me and my outgoing approach on these topics.
This is something I never anticipated going into being a mom of 2 daughters. Especially since PurityTalks is all about these moments and conversations.
I thought we'd paint our nails chatting about sex and boys and all their friends would think I was the coolest mom of all!
Nope. Not quite there yet.
My girls are uniquely fabulous. They amaze me daily at their creativity and level of deepness. They are not girly girls at all. I'm ok with that. I am not a girly girl myself. I like to get dirty, shoot bow and arrows and I long for adventure while I hike in the woods.
But I so desperately want my girls to know that it's ok to be feminine. It's okay to love getting dressed up and looking gorgeous. It's okay to talk about the boy that is totally adorable. It's okay that you have to shave your legs because you are Italian and your hair grows like a monkey. It's okay to cry and admit that your heart is breaking. This is how God created us. Women. Messy, beautiful women. In His image. Nothing to be ashamed of.
I decided to try a new approach. Since my book came out 4 years ago I knew that my girls were not old enough to read it yet. Even though they have asked to read it, I have always told them that I would let them when I felt they were ready to hear it. I kinda figured that 13 would be the appropriate age.
Well my oldest is 13 now and I knew that she was mature and ready to hear. She needs to hear my personal journey through those awkward years so she can relate a bit. I asked her if she would take a few nights and sit with me to read it. To my surprise, she enthusiastically agreed and we sat together cuddled under a blanket on a cold night reading my story. We laughed. We cried. Each time I stopped, she'd beg to go on. She wanted to hear more. She longed to know my story.
It made me realize that even though these times might be difficult and these moments might be hard to break through, we NEED to share our stories. Deep down they long for it. Our children need our life experiences shared so they can understand the WHYS to not doing something.
We preach, we teach, we punish, we encourage, we are constantly saying" don't do this, don't do that" but are we sharing the WHYS?
This is the best way to teach & mold our kids.
I am learning everyday. Everyday. I'm learning that I have a long way to go before I am the coolest mom around. But I'm going to continue to love, teach, encourage and share.
And he was serious. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. How sad for him to give up on his 15year old when that age is when she'll need her daddy the most. Just because she says she wanted him out of her life, does not REALLY mean that she does.
Since the moment my daughters were born I couldn't wait to have girl to girl chats with them as they got older. I had always said that I wanted to be the kind of mom who they could talk to about anything and everything. We have always been good communicators in this little family of ours and I just knew that "these talks" would come very easily.
Wrong!!!
My daughters faces turn 50 shades of RED and they hush me every time I bring a "personal something" up. They don't even like to mention the fact that they have to shave their legs. They are totally embarrassed by me and my outgoing approach on these topics.
This is something I never anticipated going into being a mom of 2 daughters. Especially since PurityTalks is all about these moments and conversations.
I thought we'd paint our nails chatting about sex and boys and all their friends would think I was the coolest mom of all!
Nope. Not quite there yet.
My girls are uniquely fabulous. They amaze me daily at their creativity and level of deepness. They are not girly girls at all. I'm ok with that. I am not a girly girl myself. I like to get dirty, shoot bow and arrows and I long for adventure while I hike in the woods.
But I so desperately want my girls to know that it's ok to be feminine. It's okay to love getting dressed up and looking gorgeous. It's okay to talk about the boy that is totally adorable. It's okay that you have to shave your legs because you are Italian and your hair grows like a monkey. It's okay to cry and admit that your heart is breaking. This is how God created us. Women. Messy, beautiful women. In His image. Nothing to be ashamed of.
I decided to try a new approach. Since my book came out 4 years ago I knew that my girls were not old enough to read it yet. Even though they have asked to read it, I have always told them that I would let them when I felt they were ready to hear it. I kinda figured that 13 would be the appropriate age.
Well my oldest is 13 now and I knew that she was mature and ready to hear. She needs to hear my personal journey through those awkward years so she can relate a bit. I asked her if she would take a few nights and sit with me to read it. To my surprise, she enthusiastically agreed and we sat together cuddled under a blanket on a cold night reading my story. We laughed. We cried. Each time I stopped, she'd beg to go on. She wanted to hear more. She longed to know my story.
It made me realize that even though these times might be difficult and these moments might be hard to break through, we NEED to share our stories. Deep down they long for it. Our children need our life experiences shared so they can understand the WHYS to not doing something.
We preach, we teach, we punish, we encourage, we are constantly saying" don't do this, don't do that" but are we sharing the WHYS?
This is the best way to teach & mold our kids.
I am learning everyday. Everyday. I'm learning that I have a long way to go before I am the coolest mom around. But I'm going to continue to love, teach, encourage and share.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
God the Healer
I am so thankful for my PurityTalks team who travels with me to tell my story through beautiful and funny skits. I love each of their hearts. What a blessing it is to serve our God alongside of these girls! Last weekend we were at CornerStone Church in Akron, Ohio with about 100 other women and girls chatting about self image, dating, boys, sex, purity and God's grace. We watched as many ladies came forward to let God take over the junk in their lives. What a amazing thing that He does. He wants our junk, He wants us to give up our deepest secrets and let Him move in and through our lives. And He does move! A lot of times we just don't fully submit them over to Him. We hold on to them and are shameful and we continue to beat ourselves up over our pasts. But guess what? God is a God who saves! And He wants to heal your brokenness....right here, right now! Listen to this in Psalm 32:3-5
" When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through all my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. THEN I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, " I will confess my transgressions to the Lord." and you forgave the guilt of my sin."
Can I get an AMEN to that?? He desperately wants our hearts. He will fill you up in ways that are indescribable! He will fill any voids that this world may leave. He is the strength of your heart and your portion forever. He is all you need. Leave your past at His feet. Soak in His grace and love and be free my sisters!
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Vulnerable hearts
I was recently chatting with a young girl who is currently reading my book. One thing she said to me was " I just wish my mom would be willing to talk with me about this stuff like you are."
That hit me hard. Thrilled. Yes, indeed thrilled that another young soul found her way to my book and desired to share her heart with me about what's going on in her life. These are the moments that I live for. I love one on one chats like this.
But what struck so hard was that I am approaching these years with my oldest daughter. Really fast. She just turned 13 and I find it difficult to know when to speak and when to listen. Well, when to listen really. I don't listen well with her. It's funny how easily I can manage a deep, intimate conversation with a stranger yet it is foreign territory with my own daughter at times.
I so desperately want our relationship to be different. I want her to come to me about ANYthing. Yet when that moment comes(and they come often when I'm least expecting it) I blow it! I throw in my "parenting two cents" and blow it!
I sat across the café table listening to this sweet young soul who then said to me, " I want my mom to get excited over what I'm excited over. Why does she have to always parent me? Can't she just simply say 'wow honey that is so exciting. How did that make you feel?' Does she always have to have a teaching moment?"
Yikes. That one hit hard, yet again. That's me. I feel like I always have to have a "teaching" moment with my daughters.
In my defense, I am a homeschool mom and sometimes "teacher" is hard to turn off.
It reminded me of something that happened about a year ago. My lovely, brave, adorable daughter came to me and opened up her heart and said she felt like she had a crush on a boy. I was sooooo unprepared. Blindsided. Then the words came out.
"Well honey, these feelings are normal but it's too early to be acting on these emotions right now. It's not like your gonna marry the kid."
REALLY? Did that just come out of my mouth? Here I am a speaker, an author, a mentor on THESE VERY subjects and THIS is the advise I give my OWN daughter??
My mind went right back to this story as this girl said the words to me, "why can't my mom just get excited over what I'm excited about?"
Yep. I was her mom in this story. I felt like I was talking to my own daughter but through this girl. It could have been MY daughter sitting there with her vulnerable heart open.
So then it got me thinking. If only I could go back to that sweet moment with my daughter and say, " wow, honey that is so exciting. How does that make you feel? What is this boy like?"
If THIS was the response I gave her, I would then be opening up the door to future vulnerable moments like this with her. Trust would happen. She would feel understood because I understood. I mean, come on! We've ALL had "crushes". I just needed to let her talk through hers. The "teaching" moment would come....later. But this moment is rare and sweet and needs to just simply be heard.
Our daughters want our undivided attention in these moments. Our listening ears need to be open and our mouths shut to instruct. They also need to see that we get it. We've been there. Then we need to share our own stories with them. OUR vulnerable hearts need to be open and ready. They sooooo desperately want to hear from us. Not as "teachers" but as girls with stories too.
I'm so glad that I've had more opportunities to listen. She's trusted me with her heart once again. And I'm listening even more now. Because she needs me to. A past mommy failure moment won't stop me from trying again. So mom's, if your having a hard time talking to your daughter...don't give up. She needs you. Keep your vulnerable heart open and ready.
And daughters, if you just can't talk to your mom for whatever reason, be sure to find a Godly woman that you can talk to. Her wisdom will be very valuable to you. Then open up you vulnerable hearts ladies. Be honest. We all struggle with the same things so let's start REALLY talking about it!
That hit me hard. Thrilled. Yes, indeed thrilled that another young soul found her way to my book and desired to share her heart with me about what's going on in her life. These are the moments that I live for. I love one on one chats like this.
But what struck so hard was that I am approaching these years with my oldest daughter. Really fast. She just turned 13 and I find it difficult to know when to speak and when to listen. Well, when to listen really. I don't listen well with her. It's funny how easily I can manage a deep, intimate conversation with a stranger yet it is foreign territory with my own daughter at times.
I so desperately want our relationship to be different. I want her to come to me about ANYthing. Yet when that moment comes(and they come often when I'm least expecting it) I blow it! I throw in my "parenting two cents" and blow it!
I sat across the café table listening to this sweet young soul who then said to me, " I want my mom to get excited over what I'm excited over. Why does she have to always parent me? Can't she just simply say 'wow honey that is so exciting. How did that make you feel?' Does she always have to have a teaching moment?"
Yikes. That one hit hard, yet again. That's me. I feel like I always have to have a "teaching" moment with my daughters.
In my defense, I am a homeschool mom and sometimes "teacher" is hard to turn off.
It reminded me of something that happened about a year ago. My lovely, brave, adorable daughter came to me and opened up her heart and said she felt like she had a crush on a boy. I was sooooo unprepared. Blindsided. Then the words came out.
"Well honey, these feelings are normal but it's too early to be acting on these emotions right now. It's not like your gonna marry the kid."
REALLY? Did that just come out of my mouth? Here I am a speaker, an author, a mentor on THESE VERY subjects and THIS is the advise I give my OWN daughter??
My mind went right back to this story as this girl said the words to me, "why can't my mom just get excited over what I'm excited about?"
Yep. I was her mom in this story. I felt like I was talking to my own daughter but through this girl. It could have been MY daughter sitting there with her vulnerable heart open.
So then it got me thinking. If only I could go back to that sweet moment with my daughter and say, " wow, honey that is so exciting. How does that make you feel? What is this boy like?"
If THIS was the response I gave her, I would then be opening up the door to future vulnerable moments like this with her. Trust would happen. She would feel understood because I understood. I mean, come on! We've ALL had "crushes". I just needed to let her talk through hers. The "teaching" moment would come....later. But this moment is rare and sweet and needs to just simply be heard.
Our daughters want our undivided attention in these moments. Our listening ears need to be open and our mouths shut to instruct. They also need to see that we get it. We've been there. Then we need to share our own stories with them. OUR vulnerable hearts need to be open and ready. They sooooo desperately want to hear from us. Not as "teachers" but as girls with stories too.
I'm so glad that I've had more opportunities to listen. She's trusted me with her heart once again. And I'm listening even more now. Because she needs me to. A past mommy failure moment won't stop me from trying again. So mom's, if your having a hard time talking to your daughter...don't give up. She needs you. Keep your vulnerable heart open and ready.
And daughters, if you just can't talk to your mom for whatever reason, be sure to find a Godly woman that you can talk to. Her wisdom will be very valuable to you. Then open up you vulnerable hearts ladies. Be honest. We all struggle with the same things so let's start REALLY talking about it!
My beautiful daughter and I last summer
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Perfection deception
It's videos like this that remind us that the media is trying to make us believe that we have to be perfect to be beautiful.
I'm so thankful that these videos surfaced so that us girls can face the truth that this type of perfection is un-attainable! The magic of technology has made this woman thinner, tanner, stronger, longer and they even changed her shoe size!
Yet we as women continue to look at these images(in magazines and on the telly) and LONG for what they've got. Every. Time.
I am constantly comparing myself to these images thinking that I am not good enough because I don't look like___________.
But ya know what? That's garbage! Stinky, foul. yucky, ridiculous garbage!
I have to remind myself DAILY that I AM FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made and I AM exactly the way God created me for a reason. I don't NEED to compare myself to anyone. I am learning to love myself for who I am. And you know what? It's a process everyday. Because those lies creep in everyday. It's a constant women's battle.
I want to encourage all the women out there young or old to start looking at yourself as FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made. Tell yourself that daily. Whisper that to yourself in the morning when you first get a glimpse of that slept in matted down crazy unruly hair of yours, write that on a post it note to stumble across when you open up a kitchen door, text it to yourself in the middle of the day then shout it out WHEREVER you are (cuz who really cares who's looking)!
Then believe it.
Believe that truth.
Because it's God's truth whispering to your soul. Desperatly wanting you and I to know it. To REALLY know it.
Then whisper it to someone else. Write it on a post it for someone to find. Text it to someone in the middle of the day. Shout it to a stranger as you pass by on your moped or whatever vehicle you travel this life on(but be careful not to scare them). Let's rally as women and fight off this PERFECTION DECEPTION and not allow the lies to enter anymore.
Ready?
Suit up for battle friends. Spread these truths...
Psalm 139:13-16
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Blogger break
If your visiting my blog for the first time, thank you so much. I pray that you find it helpful in your journey. I hope that you will read my past posts and I always love feedback.
I am going to be taking a bit of a break from blogging here. God has put a new project on my heart that I will be working on throughout the year which will involve a lot of writing. I will come back to this blog at the beginning of next year so please come back for a visit.
My ministry PurityTalks will continue to do speaking engagements. If you need further information on how to book a conference or retreat feel free to contact our team at any time. Also be sure to check out my book, Finding My Pure Heart Again, available online at barnesandnoble.com and amazon.com
Looking forward to hearing from you soon!
Angie
I am going to be taking a bit of a break from blogging here. God has put a new project on my heart that I will be working on throughout the year which will involve a lot of writing. I will come back to this blog at the beginning of next year so please come back for a visit.
My ministry PurityTalks will continue to do speaking engagements. If you need further information on how to book a conference or retreat feel free to contact our team at any time. Also be sure to check out my book, Finding My Pure Heart Again, available online at barnesandnoble.com and amazon.com
Looking forward to hearing from you soon!
Angie
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
My Prince will come....
Remember the old fairy tales about the beautiful princess who is sitting in her castle tower and a handsome prince comes riding on a white horse to rescue her???
Other than in most of the Disney princess movies or in the movie Pretty Woman, does this really happen?
Are you longing to find love, to be rescued...to find that one, true, handsome prince?
Many of us girls are desiring this prince. But will we ever find him? Are there guys out there who are still chivalrous? If so, what does that even look like?
Who is my one, true prince?
Well, I have the answer...
yes, you read that right...I, personally know who He is. These are things that I am writing about in my new book that will be coming out next year. I'd love your input on it as I'm putting the last few chapters together. If you could answer these questions for me...you may have a chance to be in my book and receive a free copy!
1)What does your true prince/princess look like?
2)What are some qualities you desire in your prince/princess?
3) If your a guy...what is one thing you wish girls knew about you? What is your heart saying as a man?
4) If your a girl...Why do you desire a love like this?
I look forward to hearing your responses...
Many of us girls are desiring this prince. But will we ever find him? Are there guys out there who are still chivalrous? If so, what does that even look like?
Who is my one, true prince?
Well, I have the answer...
yes, you read that right...I, personally know who He is. These are things that I am writing about in my new book that will be coming out next year. I'd love your input on it as I'm putting the last few chapters together. If you could answer these questions for me...you may have a chance to be in my book and receive a free copy!
1)What does your true prince/princess look like?
2)What are some qualities you desire in your prince/princess?
3) If your a guy...what is one thing you wish girls knew about you? What is your heart saying as a man?
4) If your a girl...Why do you desire a love like this?
I look forward to hearing your responses...
Thursday, May 3, 2012
She's got that look
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Let's hear from you...
I'd love to hear from you...send me a brief message with your thoughts on these topics
1) Fashion/Modesty-does it matter what you wear?
2) Sex/Marriage-why wait?
3) Self Image-do you ever feel un-loved? Un-lovely? What makes you feel that way?
4) If you've already read my book, Finding My Pure Heart Again, what things really stood out to you?
1) Fashion/Modesty-does it matter what you wear?
2) Sex/Marriage-why wait?
3) Self Image-do you ever feel un-loved? Un-lovely? What makes you feel that way?
4) If you've already read my book, Finding My Pure Heart Again, what things really stood out to you?
Monday, January 30, 2012
PurityTalks Team
What an awesome weekend we had in Ashtabula Ohio. The woman/teens there were amazing! Beyond the blizzard we were able to minister to them about self image, boys, sex, purity & healing.
I am amazed each time I watch the team perform the skits that I wrote to make my story come to life. I am always a blubbering mess at the end.
I was blessed beyond belief at the love and encouragement that they each brought.
Thank you PT girls for that! God used you in mighty ways this weekend! Our prayers were answered! I look forward to serving along side of you again soon.
If you are a church out there that is looking for ideas for a conference for teens...be sure to contact us. We are always honored to come and speak to women of all ages about these hot topics.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Flawless skin, white teeth, perfect hair...
The other day at work I was busy about the office and realized that I hadn't stopped to use the little girls room in awhile and well, it was time. I found some new reading material on the counter and was interested to see what it was. Magazine after magazine filled with fashion advice and advertisements. How could you not want to spend at least 10 minutes of your day reading this stuff? (Don't worry Julie-aka-my boss-I only looked while I went :)
But as I sat flipping through the pages I couldnt believe what I had seen. It's been awhile since I bought these types of magazine but I had no idea just how much they've changed. And I'm talking about Glamour and Cosmo magazine here(just to clarify)!!!!
Almost every page had a half naked or naked woman on it advertising...well, I really couldn't tell you what she was advertising...then the other pages were full of articles on how to get a man, how to have GREAT sex, how to get the PERFECT body, how to have perfect hair, how to lose 20 lbs in 20 days, how to get away with having sex with your frienemies boyfriend....REALLY?
Wow! Are you telling me that THESE are important things? THIS is what life is made up of? Really?
Believe me I completely fall into these traps of thinking that I need to look a certain way, or dress a certain way, or ACT a certain way, or that I NEED to lose 20 lbs to FINALLY get that perfect body.
But girls, let me tell you...these things are all lies. I'm being lied to too! Each day we see articles, billboards, magazines, television commercials telling us that we are not good enough. That because we don't look like "The next top model" that we don't measure up.
Do you ever feel this way?
I do.
A lot.
I find myself comparing myself to women all day long.
The other day we were shopping at Kohl's and this gorgeous, tall, blonde beauty walked by. She was the picture of the world's standards of beauty.
I gazed in jealousy.
As I walked by her I recognized how short I was compared to her lean tall frame.
I felt very un-pretty.
Very un-tall
Very un-perfect
Very...UN-anything
Then I looked behind me at my gorgeous, quirky, adorable daughters who are 8 & 11 and realized that I didn't want them to EVER feel UN-anything. They are worthy, they are perfect, they are lovely. I never want them to feel that the OUT-side even matters AT ALL.
Then I remembered.
I remembered what my Heavenly Father tells me daily. And He wants you to really KNOW this too.
Listen to this...
"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body, all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16
Now that's truth. That's what life is. Life is knowing full well that you were created for HIM, by Him and IN HIM you ARE perfect. That's all that matters.
Now let that truth really soak in girls.
STop buying those magazine to make you think otherwise.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Questions that only a guy could answer...
okay, I need some guy advice. If you know a guy out there-single or married-I need him to answer some questions for me. I'm in the middle of writing my 2nd book and need a little help from a man's perspective.
1) What type of advice would you give a boy crazy girl?
2) What traits do you look for when you are thinking about dating someone?
3) What do you wish all girls knew about men?
4) How could a girlfriend/wife support you during decision making in your life whether it be for you or for your family? What could she say/do to support you? What should she NOT do?
I'd love to hear what you have to say guys! Come on, it will help us love sick controling women understand things better. And it might make your lives easier if we did. :)
1) What type of advice would you give a boy crazy girl?
2) What traits do you look for when you are thinking about dating someone?
3) What do you wish all girls knew about men?
4) How could a girlfriend/wife support you during decision making in your life whether it be for you or for your family? What could she say/do to support you? What should she NOT do?
I'd love to hear what you have to say guys! Come on, it will help us love sick controling women understand things better. And it might make your lives easier if we did. :)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Fashionista
I love getting dressed up. Let me re-phrase that...I love getting dressed-especially in really cute clothes. I admit I don't have NEARLY as many cute clothes as I wish, but I do have quite a bit. I probably should have gone to school for fashion because I love it so much.
Am I saying that I'm the queen of fashion? No. Not at all. I just THINK I'm good at fashion. Some of you that know me might say "uh, yeah...no. You need some fashion work Angie" but I at least THINK I know fashion. The below story kind of proved me wrong according to the world standards.
I recently went to the mall with a friend and had a blast trying on clothes. I rarely ever go to the mall. I'm more of a "thrifty" shopper. So if it looks like it would fit, I buy it. I mean if it doesn't...well, it only cost me 50 cents.
Don't give me that look....you can buy REALLY awesome clothes at thrift stores. I thank my mom and my old friend Karen who introduced me to this kind of "thrifty" shopping. Don't knock it till you try it.
Anyway, I was blown away at some of the "fashions" out there right now. Yikes. All I can say is trampy. Yes, trampy. No class dressing whatsoever. Now, let me say that I did find a store which is now my most fav of all stores at the mall...Forever 21 rocks the classy looks and actually has clothes true to size-yeah, I know, I couldn't believe it either. But the other stores I found were just...woo. Not good.
I did have fun rocking out the old peach colored ballerina prom dress just for fun. Yeah. Not my first pick but that's what trying on clothes is all about right? The fun.
So, all my ramblings for this point only...where have all the good clothes gone?
Why are you following the trendy trampy look just because it's what the world calls "fashionable"?
Nope. Not me. I buy what I think is cute and fits.
Did you hear me? I said cute and FITS. That's right I'm talking to you! Please stop buying the pants that make your hiney stick out. Soooo not classy. Just saying. If you are constantly needing to pull them up, it's time to throw them out and go back to hip huggers sweetie.
I like fashion because it's fun. I try not to stick out like a sore thumb(or hiney). I just like to be fashionable in my own way. I like to be me. Not what everyone says I should be like.
I am also reminded to check my motives. What are my intentions for putting on that low cut shirt? To get the guys at work to notice me? To get the hot kid at school to give me a 2nd glance?
REally. Really. This is how we want to go noticed? For our chest size?
I have several friends who think this. And I'm the first to tell them that it doesn't matter.
I have friends who let their teenage daughters dress like this. Just so you know, that just because they "got it" does not mean they should be showing it. Where's the integrity? Where's the modesty? Where's the love for the INNER self? Cuz, you must not think too highly of yourself if you feel the need to dress in this way. Let's start showing the guys that we are awesome because we are just AWESOME. Let him get to know you...you. Your INNER you.
I want to be noticed for me. My INNER me. Not for what I can offer physically. I think I am more valuable than that. And guess what? So are you.
Have you ever thought of what your motives are when your getting dressed in the morning?
Do you really want to be a stumbling block to the guys in your history class, or the married man in your office? Would you want your husband looking at another woman in that way?
Hmmm..I doubt it.
What are you motives?
Check your hearts.
"Create in me a pure heart, or Lord, my God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" Psalm 51:10
End of ramble...
Am I saying that I'm the queen of fashion? No. Not at all. I just THINK I'm good at fashion. Some of you that know me might say "uh, yeah...no. You need some fashion work Angie" but I at least THINK I know fashion. The below story kind of proved me wrong according to the world standards.
I recently went to the mall with a friend and had a blast trying on clothes. I rarely ever go to the mall. I'm more of a "thrifty" shopper. So if it looks like it would fit, I buy it. I mean if it doesn't...well, it only cost me 50 cents.
Don't give me that look....you can buy REALLY awesome clothes at thrift stores. I thank my mom and my old friend Karen who introduced me to this kind of "thrifty" shopping. Don't knock it till you try it.
Anyway, I was blown away at some of the "fashions" out there right now. Yikes. All I can say is trampy. Yes, trampy. No class dressing whatsoever. Now, let me say that I did find a store which is now my most fav of all stores at the mall...Forever 21 rocks the classy looks and actually has clothes true to size-yeah, I know, I couldn't believe it either. But the other stores I found were just...woo. Not good.
I did have fun rocking out the old peach colored ballerina prom dress just for fun. Yeah. Not my first pick but that's what trying on clothes is all about right? The fun.
So, all my ramblings for this point only...where have all the good clothes gone?
Why are you following the trendy trampy look just because it's what the world calls "fashionable"?
Nope. Not me. I buy what I think is cute and fits.
Did you hear me? I said cute and FITS. That's right I'm talking to you! Please stop buying the pants that make your hiney stick out. Soooo not classy. Just saying. If you are constantly needing to pull them up, it's time to throw them out and go back to hip huggers sweetie.
I like fashion because it's fun. I try not to stick out like a sore thumb(or hiney). I just like to be fashionable in my own way. I like to be me. Not what everyone says I should be like.
I am also reminded to check my motives. What are my intentions for putting on that low cut shirt? To get the guys at work to notice me? To get the hot kid at school to give me a 2nd glance?
REally. Really. This is how we want to go noticed? For our chest size?
I have several friends who think this. And I'm the first to tell them that it doesn't matter.
I have friends who let their teenage daughters dress like this. Just so you know, that just because they "got it" does not mean they should be showing it. Where's the integrity? Where's the modesty? Where's the love for the INNER self? Cuz, you must not think too highly of yourself if you feel the need to dress in this way. Let's start showing the guys that we are awesome because we are just AWESOME. Let him get to know you...you. Your INNER you.
I want to be noticed for me. My INNER me. Not for what I can offer physically. I think I am more valuable than that. And guess what? So are you.
Have you ever thought of what your motives are when your getting dressed in the morning?
Do you really want to be a stumbling block to the guys in your history class, or the married man in your office? Would you want your husband looking at another woman in that way?
Hmmm..I doubt it.
What are you motives?
Check your hearts.
"Create in me a pure heart, or Lord, my God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" Psalm 51:10
End of ramble...
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Having sex just to feel "normal"
Peer pressure is everywhere. How to dress, how to act, who to hang out with, who NOT to hang out with(because they aren't cool enough), what to eat, what to drink, how to talk...and when and who to have sex with.
These days sex is part of a teenagers life. It's just something that they do. No connections. No relationship. No strings attached. I mean listen to the the name of the hit movie"Friends with Benefits" it's all about this topic & it's glamorized!
Now I"m not saying ALL teenagers are doing this. There are a few selected few who are not having sex. But a huge number are. I know I was in high school. The only difference was back then you were a slut for "doing it". Back then you didn't go around telling people that you were having sex...Now it's part of growing up. It's expected now. But why?
Apparently, you aren't NORMAL if your NOT having sex at a young age.
Even though statistics warn teens of STD's & pregnancy they are still making these choices.
What they aren't warning them about is one of the biggest concerns...the emotional loss. They don't teach this in SEX ED class. Instead they just demonstrate how to put on a condom.
What they are not telling you is that DEPRESSION IS AN STD.
In her book "Strong Fathers Strong Daughters" Meg Meeker writes, " Researchers have known for a long time that teenage sexual activity and depression are linked, but the question was which came first-the sex or the depression. Depressed kids are more likely to engage in high-risk behaviors, and sex is a high-risk behavior....when a girl has sex, she loses her virginity, and very often loses her self-respect with it. Her boyfriend might tell the whole school, or make her do something she doesn't want to do or that leaves her feeling traumatized, or he might reject her in favor of another girl, or belittle her as no good at sex....they think something is wrong with them. So they try sex with different partners again and again. But the intimacy and romance they naturally expect with sex is never there. And all they do is become jaded and depressed. They lose self-confidence and self-esteem. And many feel they have lost a part of themselves that can never be retrieved."
Are you in this type of relationship right now?
Have you lost self-confidence and feel alone and un-loved?
I have been there. I sought out this kind of love with all the wrong boys. I thought that by doing those things I would feel loved and appreciated forever.
Just the opposite happened....I lost respect from my boyfriend. He no longer appreciated me.
Maybe for a moment consider being the ABnormal one. Go against the crowd. Dare to be different. Don't do what everyone else is doing. Respect yourSELF.
Trust me yourSELF will be much happier.
These days sex is part of a teenagers life. It's just something that they do. No connections. No relationship. No strings attached. I mean listen to the the name of the hit movie"Friends with Benefits" it's all about this topic & it's glamorized!
Now I"m not saying ALL teenagers are doing this. There are a few selected few who are not having sex. But a huge number are. I know I was in high school. The only difference was back then you were a slut for "doing it". Back then you didn't go around telling people that you were having sex...Now it's part of growing up. It's expected now. But why?
Apparently, you aren't NORMAL if your NOT having sex at a young age.
Even though statistics warn teens of STD's & pregnancy they are still making these choices.
What they aren't warning them about is one of the biggest concerns...the emotional loss. They don't teach this in SEX ED class. Instead they just demonstrate how to put on a condom.
What they are not telling you is that DEPRESSION IS AN STD.
In her book "Strong Fathers Strong Daughters" Meg Meeker writes, " Researchers have known for a long time that teenage sexual activity and depression are linked, but the question was which came first-the sex or the depression. Depressed kids are more likely to engage in high-risk behaviors, and sex is a high-risk behavior....when a girl has sex, she loses her virginity, and very often loses her self-respect with it. Her boyfriend might tell the whole school, or make her do something she doesn't want to do or that leaves her feeling traumatized, or he might reject her in favor of another girl, or belittle her as no good at sex....they think something is wrong with them. So they try sex with different partners again and again. But the intimacy and romance they naturally expect with sex is never there. And all they do is become jaded and depressed. They lose self-confidence and self-esteem. And many feel they have lost a part of themselves that can never be retrieved."
Are you in this type of relationship right now?
Have you lost self-confidence and feel alone and un-loved?
I have been there. I sought out this kind of love with all the wrong boys. I thought that by doing those things I would feel loved and appreciated forever.
Just the opposite happened....I lost respect from my boyfriend. He no longer appreciated me.
Maybe for a moment consider being the ABnormal one. Go against the crowd. Dare to be different. Don't do what everyone else is doing. Respect yourSELF.
Trust me yourSELF will be much happier.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Seven year old's plastic surgery?
Here's an article on the story of a seven year old that recently had plastic surgery to fix her ears that stuck out. Her mom decided to get her daughters ears done to eliminate bullying. Strange thing is the daughter was quoted saying that she never really was bullied. Hmmmm....the mom DID say that she heard adults make comments in front of the girl but that was really it. She was just preventing it from happening in the future.
Sounds like this procedure really just made MOM feel better. Read the article below...
"Good Morning America" continued its exploration of all-things-plastic-surgery on Thursday, interviewing seven-year-old Samantha Shaw, a first grader from South Dakota who recently went under the knife to pin back her cup ears and fix a fold on her right ear.
Apparently, the number of teens and children getting plastic surgery has gone up 30 percent over the last decade, with more and more young people resorting to operations in order to avoid bullying. However, Samantha told Juju Chang that she hasn't been bullied, per se. Her mom said that others have made comments in front of Samantha -- with adults being worse than other kids -- but confirmed that the surgery was more preventative, so that her daughter wouldn't get bullied in the future.
New York Dr. Steven Pearlman, who performed the surgery free of charge thanks to the Little Baby Face Foundation, strongly believes that any abnormality can result in torture on the playground. But when asked whether he actually suggests that children get plastic surgery to avoid bullying, Pearlman responded, "Well, it depends where you draw the line. If it's minor, if it's cosmetic, absolutely not. But in my book and [that of] most of the medical community, the plastic surgery community, ears that stick out is not a cosmetic issue."
Tell me something...where does it end?
What if she had other slight cosmetic issues? Like, let's say, a big nose? Would you get her plastic surgery?
What if she had a space in between her two front teeth? Or what if her teeth weren't white enough? Would you get her a whitening kit to make them pearly white? Or what if her smile was a little crooked? What else would you change if this was your 7 year old?
You tell me.
I mean this wasn't an issue of physical health. Some may say "well, what about emotional health it will be better for her so she doesn't get teased"
Really?
Well, what do you think having plastic surgery did to her little heart?
I'm thinking it may have made her wonder "hmmmm mom's worried about the way that I look & thinks kids will make fun of me because my ears are too big. I'm not good enough the way God made me"
This is what I would think if someone told me to get my ears pinned back. I would look in the mirror from that point on and wonder what else needed to be changed.
Just my thoughts...
now what do you think?
Sounds like this procedure really just made MOM feel better. Read the article below...
"Good Morning America" continued its exploration of all-things-plastic-surgery on Thursday, interviewing seven-year-old Samantha Shaw, a first grader from South Dakota who recently went under the knife to pin back her cup ears and fix a fold on her right ear.
Apparently, the number of teens and children getting plastic surgery has gone up 30 percent over the last decade, with more and more young people resorting to operations in order to avoid bullying. However, Samantha told Juju Chang that she hasn't been bullied, per se. Her mom said that others have made comments in front of Samantha -- with adults being worse than other kids -- but confirmed that the surgery was more preventative, so that her daughter wouldn't get bullied in the future.
New York Dr. Steven Pearlman, who performed the surgery free of charge thanks to the Little Baby Face Foundation, strongly believes that any abnormality can result in torture on the playground. But when asked whether he actually suggests that children get plastic surgery to avoid bullying, Pearlman responded, "Well, it depends where you draw the line. If it's minor, if it's cosmetic, absolutely not. But in my book and [that of] most of the medical community, the plastic surgery community, ears that stick out is not a cosmetic issue."
Tell me something...where does it end?
What if she had other slight cosmetic issues? Like, let's say, a big nose? Would you get her plastic surgery?
What if she had a space in between her two front teeth? Or what if her teeth weren't white enough? Would you get her a whitening kit to make them pearly white? Or what if her smile was a little crooked? What else would you change if this was your 7 year old?
You tell me.
I mean this wasn't an issue of physical health. Some may say "well, what about emotional health it will be better for her so she doesn't get teased"
Really?
Well, what do you think having plastic surgery did to her little heart?
I'm thinking it may have made her wonder "hmmmm mom's worried about the way that I look & thinks kids will make fun of me because my ears are too big. I'm not good enough the way God made me"
This is what I would think if someone told me to get my ears pinned back. I would look in the mirror from that point on and wonder what else needed to be changed.
Just my thoughts...
now what do you think?
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
you are noticed
Have you ever felt UN-noticed?
All of us have at some point in our lives.
It's very lonely isn't it? No one talks to you. Not even "hi".
You sit alone at the lunch/break table.
You walk alone in the hallways.
You just feel alone and unnoticed.
Let me tell you something...you ARE noticed.
You ARE loved.
You don't have to walk alone.
Listen to these words that are a constant reminder to me when I am feeling alone & unnoticed.
"You created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16
What? God knew me before I was even born? How amazing is that? So, does He notice you? Yes!!!!!!
He loves you so much that He thought of you even before you came to be!
Amazing!
He loves you...
He notices you...imperfectly perfect! He loves you.
You don't have to feel alone.
All of us have at some point in our lives.
It's very lonely isn't it? No one talks to you. Not even "hi".
You sit alone at the lunch/break table.
You walk alone in the hallways.
You just feel alone and unnoticed.
Let me tell you something...you ARE noticed.
You ARE loved.
You don't have to walk alone.
Listen to these words that are a constant reminder to me when I am feeling alone & unnoticed.
"You created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16
What? God knew me before I was even born? How amazing is that? So, does He notice you? Yes!!!!!!
He loves you so much that He thought of you even before you came to be!
Amazing!
He loves you...
He notices you...imperfectly perfect! He loves you.
You don't have to feel alone.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Push up bras for 7 yr olds? Do you really want to "support" this?
A friend of mine just filled me on about this whole Abercrombie & Fitch topic. Where have I been all week? This is huge!
The popular brand name who has been known for oversexuallizing in their marketing has done it again. They are now selling push up swim suits to kids as young as 7 years old.
Apparently, they got a lot of complaits already about the product and they've changed the name of the swim top to "triangle" top. Wow, thanks that helps our daughters hearts to know that the name has changed.
No!
Sorry, still doesn't cut it for me. It is STILL a push up swim top which tells my daughter that her little ta ta's (which don't even exsist at age 7)need to be pushed up and overexaggerated.
Do we really want this for our daughters people?
Are you going to sit and watch it happen and say "well, that's the world we live in-we can't shelter them!"
Well, if that's what your thinking...then you've got to take time to really look into your daughters heart. She is hurting. She already(at the young age of 7)is being exposed to these false beauty images and wondering what is wrong with her and how she can one day look like that. We think this way as adults, so why wouldn't she? The media is oversexualizing our kids and we can NOT continue to say nothing.
Even though the company has "changed" the name of the swimtop, I am still going to take action and send them a letter about how I feel about their marketing approach. I am not going to write them a nasty letter of disapproval either. It's going to simply be from my heart. Will I be stern? Uh yeah. But I will also be kind.
I would like to encourage you to go onto their webpage at
www.abercrombiekids.com
click onto the contact page. There you can write to them about how you feel.
Don't let this small opportunity pass by to speak your mind and fight for your daughters hearts.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Your worth...
"If you feel your value lies in being merely decorative, I fear you will find yourself one day believing that is ALL you really are."
-quoted by Meg's mother from the book Little Women as Meg dressed for a party
-quoted by Meg's mother from the book Little Women as Meg dressed for a party
Thursday, January 27, 2011
An innocent kiss?
Here is an excerpt from my book "Finding My Pure Heart Again" tell me what you think...
This is such a tough subject. I know that kissing can be innocent, but I also know that it can lead to destruction.
I’ve seen it happen in my own life.
A kiss can light you up inside.
It literally gives you crazy tingling feelings that run straight through you. I believe that these feelings are a gift from God. They are not bad feelings.
But I also believe that they can lead down a bad path if you are kissing when you really shouldn’t be. I mean think about it. Why would you want to give away something so amazing as that electric kiss to just anyone?
Can you imagine what it would feel like if you waited for your true love on your wedding day?
Man, God would just floor you! He wants you to feel those rushes, but only at the right moment.
And I believe the right moment is when you hear the words, “You may NOW kiss the bride”.
To read more...order my book online at amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com
This is such a tough subject. I know that kissing can be innocent, but I also know that it can lead to destruction.
I’ve seen it happen in my own life.
A kiss can light you up inside.
It literally gives you crazy tingling feelings that run straight through you. I believe that these feelings are a gift from God. They are not bad feelings.
But I also believe that they can lead down a bad path if you are kissing when you really shouldn’t be. I mean think about it. Why would you want to give away something so amazing as that electric kiss to just anyone?
Can you imagine what it would feel like if you waited for your true love on your wedding day?
Man, God would just floor you! He wants you to feel those rushes, but only at the right moment.
And I believe the right moment is when you hear the words, “You may NOW kiss the bride”.
To read more...order my book online at amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Stealing the little out of your little girl
I have two amazing daughters who are 8 & 10. I just realized the other day that they will soon be teenagers. That thought scared me. It REALLY scared me! I guess I knew that one day it would happen, but it seems to be creeping up on me faster and faster each moment.
I am reading a book by Dannah Gresh called" Six Ways to keep the little in your girl" and so far it has rocked my world. Some things I"m reading my husband and I have already incorporated but other things I hadn't even thought of.
Have you ever thought of how the dolls that are marketed out there now are over sexualizing our kids? Think about the Bratz dolls. Wow!
That's all I can say. Okay, I'm gonna say a little more...
Tight clothes, short skirts, fish net stockings, ugly sexy looks on their faces...yikes. They kind of remind me of prostitutes.
This is how we want our daughters to play???
Hmmm...
Not me.
I have never let my girls have those dolls for this very reason-but many mom's are. And I ask myself "WHY?"
What is this doing to our little girls hearts?
Why allow them to think that this is okay to not only over sexualize them but to make them think that this is how women are perceived.
I want to raise my girls to be strong Godly women who serve and love others. Am I the most perfect mom? Heck no! I screw up everyday. But this is my prayer for them. I HAVE to be thinking ahead when I am buying toys.
What are your thoughts?
I am reading a book by Dannah Gresh called" Six Ways to keep the little in your girl" and so far it has rocked my world. Some things I"m reading my husband and I have already incorporated but other things I hadn't even thought of.
Have you ever thought of how the dolls that are marketed out there now are over sexualizing our kids? Think about the Bratz dolls. Wow!
That's all I can say. Okay, I'm gonna say a little more...
Tight clothes, short skirts, fish net stockings, ugly sexy looks on their faces...yikes. They kind of remind me of prostitutes.
This is how we want our daughters to play???
Hmmm...
Not me.
I have never let my girls have those dolls for this very reason-but many mom's are. And I ask myself "WHY?"
What is this doing to our little girls hearts?
Why allow them to think that this is okay to not only over sexualize them but to make them think that this is how women are perceived.
I want to raise my girls to be strong Godly women who serve and love others. Am I the most perfect mom? Heck no! I screw up everyday. But this is my prayer for them. I HAVE to be thinking ahead when I am buying toys.
What are your thoughts?
