Flawless skin, white teeth, perfect hair...

The other day at work I was busy about the office and realized that I hadn't stopped to use the little girls room in awhile and well, it was time. I found some new reading material on the counter and was interested to see what it was. Magazine after magazine filled with fashion advice and advertisements. How could you not want to spend at least 10 minutes of your day reading this stuff? (Don't worry Julie-aka-my boss-I only looked while I went :)
But as I sat flipping through the pages I couldnt believe what I had seen. It's been awhile since I bought these types of magazine but I had no idea just how much they've changed. And I'm talking about Glamour and Cosmo magazine here(just to clarify)!!!!
Almost every page had a half naked or naked woman on it advertising...well, I really couldn't tell you what she was advertising...then the other pages were full of articles on how to get a man, how to have GREAT sex, how to get the PERFECT body, how to have perfect hair, how to lose 20 lbs in 20 days, how to get away with having sex with your frienemies boyfriend....REALLY?

Wow! Are you telling me that THESE are important things? THIS is what life is made up of? Really?
Believe me I completely fall into these traps of thinking that I need to look a certain way, or dress a certain way, or ACT a certain way, or that I NEED to lose 20 lbs to FINALLY get that perfect body.

But girls, let me tell you...these things are all lies. I'm being lied to too! Each day we see articles, billboards, magazines, television commercials telling us that we are not good enough. That because we don't look like "The next top model" that we don't measure up.
Do you ever feel this way?
I do.
A lot.
I find myself comparing myself to women all day long.
The other day we were shopping at Kohl's and this gorgeous, tall, blonde beauty walked by. She was the picture of the world's standards of beauty.
I gazed in jealousy.
As I walked by her I recognized how short I was compared to her lean tall frame.
I felt very un-pretty.
Very un-tall
Very un-perfect
Very...UN-anything

Then I looked behind me at my gorgeous, quirky, adorable daughters who are 8 & 11 and realized that I didn't want them to EVER feel UN-anything. They are worthy, they are perfect, they are lovely. I never want them to feel that the OUT-side even matters AT ALL.

Then I remembered.
I remembered what my Heavenly Father tells me daily. And He wants you to really KNOW this too.
Listen to this...

"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body, all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

Now that's truth. That's what life is. Life is knowing full well that you were created for HIM, by Him and IN HIM you ARE perfect. That's all that matters.
Now let that truth really soak in girls.
STop buying those magazine to make you think otherwise.

Questions that only a guy could answer...

okay, I need some guy advice. If you know a guy out there-single or married-I need him to answer some questions for me. I'm in the middle of writing my 2nd book and need a little help from a man's perspective.

1) What type of advice would you give a boy crazy girl?
2) What traits do you look for when you are thinking about dating someone?
3) What do you wish all girls knew about men?
4) How could a girlfriend/wife support you during decision making in your life whether it be for you or for your family? What could she say/do to support you? What should she NOT do?

I'd love to hear what you have to say guys! Come on, it will help us love sick controling women understand things better. And it might make your lives easier if we did. :)

Fashionista

I love getting dressed up. Let me re-phrase that...I love getting dressed-especially in really cute clothes. I admit I don't have NEARLY as many cute clothes as I wish, but I do have quite a bit. I probably should have gone to school for fashion because I love it so much.

Am I saying that I'm the queen of fashion? No. Not at all. I just THINK I'm good at fashion. Some of you that know me might say "uh, yeah...no. You need some fashion work Angie" but I at least THINK I know fashion. The below story kind of proved me wrong according to the world standards.

I recently went to the mall with a friend and had a blast trying on clothes. I rarely ever go to the mall. I'm more of a "thrifty" shopper. So if it looks like it would fit, I buy it. I mean if it doesn't...well, it only cost me 50 cents.

Don't give me that look....you can buy REALLY awesome clothes at thrift stores. I thank my mom and my old friend Karen who introduced me to this kind of "thrifty" shopping. Don't knock it till you try it.

Anyway, I was blown away at some of the "fashions" out there right now. Yikes. All I can say is trampy. Yes, trampy. No class dressing whatsoever. Now, let me say that I did find a store which is now my most fav of all stores at the mall...Forever 21 rocks the classy looks and actually has clothes true to size-yeah, I know, I couldn't believe it either. But the other stores I found were just...woo. Not good.

I did have fun rocking out the old peach colored ballerina prom dress just for fun. Yeah. Not my first pick but that's what trying on clothes is all about right? The fun.

So, all my ramblings for this point only...where have all the good clothes gone?

Why are you following the trendy trampy look just because it's what the world calls "fashionable"?

Nope. Not me. I buy what I think is cute and fits.
Did you hear me? I said cute and FITS. That's right I'm talking to you! Please stop buying the pants that make your hiney stick out. Soooo not classy. Just saying. If you are constantly needing to pull them up, it's time to throw them out and go back to hip huggers sweetie.

I like fashion because it's fun. I try not to stick out like a sore thumb(or hiney). I just like to be fashionable in my own way. I like to be me. Not what everyone says I should be like.

I am also reminded to check my motives. What are my intentions for putting on that low cut shirt? To get the guys at work to notice me? To get the hot kid at school to give me a 2nd glance?

REally. Really. This is how we want to go noticed? For our chest size?
I have several friends who think this. And I'm the first to tell them that it doesn't matter.
I have friends who let their teenage daughters dress like this. Just so you know, that just because they "got it" does not mean they should be showing it. Where's the integrity? Where's the modesty? Where's the love for the INNER self? Cuz, you must not think too highly of yourself if you feel the need to dress in this way. Let's start showing the guys that we are awesome because we are just AWESOME. Let him get to know you...you. Your INNER you.

I want to be noticed for me. My INNER me. Not for what I can offer physically. I think I am more valuable than that. And guess what? So are you.
Have you ever thought of what your motives are when your getting dressed in the morning?
Do you really want to be a stumbling block to the guys in your history class, or the married man in your office? Would you want your husband looking at another woman in that way?

Hmmm..I doubt it.

What are you motives?
Check your hearts.
"Create in me a pure heart, or Lord, my God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" Psalm 51:10

End of ramble...

Having sex just to feel "normal"

Peer pressure is everywhere. How to dress, how to act, who to hang out with, who NOT to hang out with(because they aren't cool enough), what to eat, what to drink, how to talk...and when and who to have sex with.

These days sex is part of a teenagers life. It's just something that they do. No connections. No relationship. No strings attached. I mean listen to the the name of the hit movie"Friends with Benefits" it's all about this topic & it's glamorized!

Now I"m not saying ALL teenagers are doing this. There are a few selected few who are not having sex. But a huge number are. I know I was in high school. The only difference was back then you were a slut for "doing it". Back then you didn't go around telling people that you were having sex...Now it's part of growing up. It's expected now. But why?

Apparently, you aren't NORMAL if your NOT having sex at a young age.
Even though statistics warn teens of STD's & pregnancy they are still making these choices.
What they aren't warning them about is one of the biggest concerns...the emotional loss. They don't teach this in SEX ED class. Instead they just demonstrate how to put on a condom.

What they are not telling you is that DEPRESSION IS AN STD.

In her book "Strong Fathers Strong Daughters" Meg Meeker writes, " Researchers have known for a long time that teenage sexual activity and depression are linked, but the question was which came first-the sex or the depression. Depressed kids are more likely to engage in high-risk behaviors, and sex is a high-risk behavior....when a girl has sex, she loses her virginity, and very often loses her self-respect with it. Her boyfriend might tell the whole school, or make her do something she doesn't want to do or that leaves her feeling traumatized, or he might reject her in favor of another girl, or belittle her as no good at sex....they think something is wrong with them. So they try sex with different partners again and again. But the intimacy and romance they naturally expect with sex is never there. And all they do is become jaded and depressed. They lose self-confidence and self-esteem. And many feel they have lost a part of themselves that can never be retrieved."

Are you in this type of relationship right now?
Have you lost self-confidence and feel alone and un-loved?

I have been there. I sought out this kind of love with all the wrong boys. I thought that by doing those things I would feel loved and appreciated forever.
Just the opposite happened....I lost respect from my boyfriend. He no longer appreciated me.

Maybe for a moment consider being the ABnormal one. Go against the crowd. Dare to be different. Don't do what everyone else is doing. Respect yourSELF.
Trust me yourSELF will be much happier.

Seven year old's plastic surgery?

Here's an article on the story of a seven year old that recently had plastic surgery to fix her ears that stuck out. Her mom decided to get her daughters ears done to eliminate bullying. Strange thing is the daughter was quoted saying that she never really was bullied. Hmmmm....the mom DID say that she heard adults make comments in front of the girl but that was really it. She was just preventing it from happening in the future.

Sounds like this procedure really just made MOM feel better. Read the article below...

"Good Morning America" continued its exploration of all-things-plastic-surgery on Thursday, interviewing seven-year-old Samantha Shaw, a first grader from South Dakota who recently went under the knife to pin back her cup ears and fix a fold on her right ear.

Apparently, the number of teens and children getting plastic surgery has gone up 30 percent over the last decade, with more and more young people resorting to operations in order to avoid bullying. However, Samantha told Juju Chang that she hasn't been bullied, per se. Her mom said that others have made comments in front of Samantha -- with adults being worse than other kids -- but confirmed that the surgery was more preventative, so that her daughter wouldn't get bullied in the future.

New York Dr. Steven Pearlman, who performed the surgery free of charge thanks to the Little Baby Face Foundation, strongly believes that any abnormality can result in torture on the playground. But when asked whether he actually suggests that children get plastic surgery to avoid bullying, Pearlman responded, "Well, it depends where you draw the line. If it's minor, if it's cosmetic, absolutely not. But in my book and [that of] most of the medical community, the plastic surgery community, ears that stick out is not a cosmetic issue."

Tell me something...where does it end?
What if she had other slight cosmetic issues? Like, let's say, a big nose? Would you get her plastic surgery?
What if she had a space in between her two front teeth? Or what if her teeth weren't white enough? Would you get her a whitening kit to make them pearly white? Or what if her smile was a little crooked? What else would you change if this was your 7 year old?

You tell me.
I mean this wasn't an issue of physical health. Some may say "well, what about emotional health it will be better for her so she doesn't get teased"

Really?
Well, what do you think having plastic surgery did to her little heart?
I'm thinking it may have made her wonder "hmmmm mom's worried about the way that I look & thinks kids will make fun of me because my ears are too big. I'm not good enough the way God made me"

This is what I would think if someone told me to get my ears pinned back. I would look in the mirror from that point on and wonder what else needed to be changed.
Just my thoughts...
now what do you think?

you are noticed

Have you ever felt UN-noticed?
All of us have at some point in our lives.
It's very lonely isn't it? No one talks to you. Not even "hi".
You sit alone at the lunch/break table.
You walk alone in the hallways.
You just feel alone and unnoticed.
Let me tell you something...you ARE noticed.
You ARE loved.
You don't have to walk alone.
Listen to these words that are a constant reminder to me when I am feeling alone & unnoticed.

"You created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

What? God knew me before I was even born? How amazing is that? So, does He notice you? Yes!!!!!!
He loves you so much that He thought of you even before you came to be!
Amazing!
He loves you...
He notices you...imperfectly perfect! He loves you.
You don't have to feel alone.

Push up bras for 7 yr olds? Do you really want to "support" this?

A friend of mine just filled me on about this whole Abercrombie & Fitch topic. Where have I been all week? This is huge!

The popular brand name who has been known for oversexuallizing in their marketing has done it again. They are now selling push up swim suits to kids as young as 7 years old.

Apparently, they got a lot of complaits already about the product and they've changed the name of the swim top to "triangle" top. Wow, thanks that helps our daughters hearts to know that the name has changed.

No!

Sorry, still doesn't cut it for me. It is STILL a push up swim top which tells my daughter that her little ta ta's (which don't even exsist at age 7)need to be pushed up and overexaggerated.

Do we really want this for our daughters people?

Are you going to sit and watch it happen and say "well, that's the world we live in-we can't shelter them!"

Well, if that's what your thinking...then you've got to take time to really look into your daughters heart. She is hurting. She already(at the young age of 7)is being exposed to these false beauty images and wondering what is wrong with her and how she can one day look like that. We think this way as adults, so why wouldn't she? The media is oversexualizing our kids and we can NOT continue to say nothing.

Even though the company has "changed" the name of the swimtop, I am still going to take action and send them a letter about how I feel about their marketing approach. I am not going to write them a nasty letter of disapproval either. It's going to simply be from my heart. Will I be stern? Uh yeah. But I will also be kind.

I would like to encourage you to go onto their webpage at
www.abercrombiekids.com
click onto the contact page. There you can write to them about how you feel.

Don't let this small opportunity pass by to speak your mind and fight for your daughters hearts.

Your worth...

"If you feel your value lies in being merely decorative, I fear you will find yourself one day believing that is ALL you really are."
-quoted by Meg's mother from the book Little Women as Meg dressed for a party

An innocent kiss?

Here is an excerpt from my book "Finding My Pure Heart Again" tell me what you think...

This is such a tough subject. I know that kissing can be innocent, but I also know that it can lead to destruction.
I’ve seen it happen in my own life.
A kiss can light you up inside.
It literally gives you crazy tingling feelings that run straight through you. I believe that these feelings are a gift from God. They are not bad feelings.
But I also believe that they can lead down a bad path if you are kissing when you really shouldn’t be. I mean think about it. Why would you want to give away something so amazing as that electric kiss to just anyone?
Can you imagine what it would feel like if you waited for your true love on your wedding day?
Man, God would just floor you! He wants you to feel those rushes, but only at the right moment.

And I believe the right moment is when you hear the words, “You may NOW kiss the bride”.

To read more...order my book online at amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com

Stealing the little out of your little girl

I have two amazing daughters who are 8 & 10. I just realized the other day that they will soon be teenagers. That thought scared me. It REALLY scared me! I guess I knew that one day it would happen, but it seems to be creeping up on me faster and faster each moment.

I am reading a book by Dannah Gresh called" Six Ways to keep the little in your girl" and so far it has rocked my world. Some things I"m reading my husband and I have already incorporated but other things I hadn't even thought of.

Have you ever thought of how the dolls that are marketed out there now are over sexualizing our kids? Think about the Bratz dolls. Wow!
That's all I can say. Okay, I'm gonna say a little more...
Tight clothes, short skirts, fish net stockings, ugly sexy looks on their faces...yikes. They kind of remind me of prostitutes.
This is how we want our daughters to play???
Hmmm...
Not me.
I have never let my girls have those dolls for this very reason-but many mom's are. And I ask myself "WHY?"
What is this doing to our little girls hearts?
Why allow them to think that this is okay to not only over sexualize them but to make them think that this is how women are perceived.
I want to raise my girls to be strong Godly women who serve and love others. Am I the most perfect mom? Heck no! I screw up everyday. But this is my prayer for them. I HAVE to be thinking ahead when I am buying toys.
What are your thoughts?