Girls, I've been there. It sucks to have your heart broken. It really does. You put yourself out there hoping to feel loved and then... squash!
It's over.
It's done.
So, you pick up your broken heart and try to get on with your life.
Yeah, right. Not easy to do.
You hear every sad song on the radio.
You see every adorable couple walking hand in hand down the street.
You just can't get this guy out of your head.
So what's a girl to do?
Well, here is what I found from a website called Healyourbrokenheart.com
And I'd have to agree with the stuff they are suggesting. So for all of you struggling with a heart that has been broken...take a look and I encourage you to impliment some of these things into your new single life...read on my wounded hearted friends...
"Honor how you feel – let the pain come and feel it. Whether you are curled up in bed or out with friends, when the pain sweeps over you – let it. If you feel like talking about it, do so. If you are repeating yourself, find the friend who has done the same to you and vent. It is important to feel this pain and walk right thru it. The other option is to block it out and return to it later; as long as you understand the pain is not going anywhere until it is processed. I promise after you talk, cry, rant, scream, and sit thinking in silence about what you are missing and how you are hurt, you are on the path to recovery. When it returns again just rinse and repeat – this time will pass.
Know that hearts heal – no matter how much you do not believe this. No matter how down you are, how close to feel to the edge, just know this time will pass. Time and friends and family, but mostly time will heal your wounds. If you have lost someone even to death and are grieving their loss, if you cannot imagine a time where you will not feel such intense pain, please remember there are others in the world who have been in your place and who have gotten thru it. The common denominator in the healing is time. Can you speed up the process? Sure. Here are some helpful steps.
Music - listen to it, find the album. I don’t want to detract from this post with a bunch of neurological jargon about how music pulls at our heartstrings. I’d rather you just give it a go when you are feeling down. Music has a power, more than words to feel and heal your pain.
Writing - write it out, write it out. I’m sure you’ve heard the tip about writing out a letter to your ex and not sending it. Even if it doesn’t immediately seem to have a healing effect, it organizes your thoughts and helps make a matter of the heart more a matter of the head. Your logic will help heal – use it! Let’s say your break up just doesn’t make sense to you, then that is what you write. Why not send it? Because this time is about healing yourself and sending the letter would go against that initiative. If you are intent on mailing or emailing what you’ve written out, I recommend waiting at least 5 days after writing it to revisit what you’ve written. 5 days won’t change much between you and your ex, however, it may provide a world of difference to your perspective.
Reading – start. If you don’t feel like investing in a book, use the internet as a resource. Remember misery loving company? Not exactly how I would put it, but it is a comfort to know there are others going thru the same process.
Everyday add one thing to your day that makes you happy. If you can’t imagine that word in your life right now, search back thru memories. Childhood, a high school dance, a trip you took, an incredible meal you had and savor that memory for 5-10 minutes a day. If you have a hobby such as collecting antiques or blogging or anything – indulge in it. If you don’t feel like, force yourself to do it for 5-10 minutes minimum per day.
Exercise – try for at least 20 minutes a day. As for myself, I don’t have the urge to exercise even when I’m in a happy place. When I’m going thru a break up, even less so. So how do you do it? Know that your mind is very strong. It has capabilities and an arsenal of tools to defend your heart that you may not even be aware of. Use them. Tell yourself you are going to workout and just do it. I promise you’ll feel a little better.
Fake it until you make it. Smile – even if it’s not genuine, it has been scientifically proven to release endorphins and relieve some stress. Go out with friends against any little voice in your head telling you that you won’t enjoy yourself. Comfort yourself with things that are comforting to you (mac n cheese, sex and the city, a little shopping)…
You’re on your way, I promise.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Meat Market
A friend of mine sent me a link to this film called Yellow Roses...be sure to check it out.
Here is a comment left by one of their viewers I thought was pretty interesting...www.yellowrosesfilm.com
I’m looking at a model staring out from the shoreline on the front cover of a magazine. Girls, you know her. We see her practically everyday, she’s the actress who can fake sexy so well that they make her the star. She’s the 16 year old singer, rising to fame after a breast augmentation and lip injections. She’s the girl always walking the red carpet in designer dresses and a man for a purse.
According to People Magazine, She only dates millionaires, musicians, pro athletes, or bad boys who’s name she’s tattooed and will have removed in two years after their divorce. She’s the girl on the cover with long tossled hair stretching over the side of her eye while the wind catches just enough of it to stun all who gaze upon her. She is highly produced, like artificial sweetener, yet the photographers, hair and make up teams refuse to show us any sign of something that makes her human. We’re longing for something real. Like a PMS zit, bed hair or mascara smeared from crying- just a clue that she can even cry in the first place.
Her body is infectious, full of sensual symmetry and bone structure. Her skin has the peachiest fertile glow, normally reserved for the angels. For a minute I envy everything about her. I’m hooked, and soon following will be a bloody battle of tearing and dissecting myself apart to concede to her. She wins, she always wins. Luckily before this bloodshed begins, God hits a switch and I am instantly reminded of my husband Chad.
Chad is a fashion model with Ford Models NYC. Back in the day and before we had our daughter, we would fly to our apartment in the East Village and take on New York each week. The first time I walked into Ford, it was like getting off the elevator into a foreign world. Beautiful men and women everywhere! Around every corner, a beautiful face, coming and going, beautiful faces. I was living the inside of a magazine, Editors Picks was in there, Beauty Insider was in there, Best Hairstyles and editorials. All those pages had come to life and were standing 6ft tall right in front of me. Onward we would travel, to a huge room with lots of noise and agents talking on their microphones, computers and cell phones simultaneously.
And surrounding these few agents was “the wall”. The wall consists of hundreds of faces on cards, each with unique expressions or poses, playing up their best features. Sexy, serious, playful… there was card after card. Face after face. It wasn’t real, just a pretend world selling pretend images to a world with too much pressure to pretend. This wall looked like a human meat market, in fact that was my name for it. Clients call in, Ford shows the clients hundreds of cards with faces, the client then chooses from the stacks full of faces and then the client’s favorite face is purchased and booked for a photo shoot on an island to take pictures of a fake vacation. Making beauty a business seems like robbing the dignity and sanctity of beauty by turning it into a focus and business soley on the outward appearance, in a capitalist factory. Inward beauty is non existent on the pages of our magazines and catalogs. Inward beauty doesn’t sell or make money.
Beautiful human beings bought from cards and who’s physical anatomy is employed to sell products to a society wishing it had more, was not God’s intention for our lives. Most of us now think we are the uglier folk, we are seduced by outward luster of beauty, wealth, stature, sexuality, companionship. We buy the products maybe even albeit subconsciously so that we feel that we can measure up… even if it’s just a millimeter more.
Here is a comment left by one of their viewers I thought was pretty interesting...www.yellowrosesfilm.com
I’m looking at a model staring out from the shoreline on the front cover of a magazine. Girls, you know her. We see her practically everyday, she’s the actress who can fake sexy so well that they make her the star. She’s the 16 year old singer, rising to fame after a breast augmentation and lip injections. She’s the girl always walking the red carpet in designer dresses and a man for a purse.
According to People Magazine, She only dates millionaires, musicians, pro athletes, or bad boys who’s name she’s tattooed and will have removed in two years after their divorce. She’s the girl on the cover with long tossled hair stretching over the side of her eye while the wind catches just enough of it to stun all who gaze upon her. She is highly produced, like artificial sweetener, yet the photographers, hair and make up teams refuse to show us any sign of something that makes her human. We’re longing for something real. Like a PMS zit, bed hair or mascara smeared from crying- just a clue that she can even cry in the first place.
Her body is infectious, full of sensual symmetry and bone structure. Her skin has the peachiest fertile glow, normally reserved for the angels. For a minute I envy everything about her. I’m hooked, and soon following will be a bloody battle of tearing and dissecting myself apart to concede to her. She wins, she always wins. Luckily before this bloodshed begins, God hits a switch and I am instantly reminded of my husband Chad.
Chad is a fashion model with Ford Models NYC. Back in the day and before we had our daughter, we would fly to our apartment in the East Village and take on New York each week. The first time I walked into Ford, it was like getting off the elevator into a foreign world. Beautiful men and women everywhere! Around every corner, a beautiful face, coming and going, beautiful faces. I was living the inside of a magazine, Editors Picks was in there, Beauty Insider was in there, Best Hairstyles and editorials. All those pages had come to life and were standing 6ft tall right in front of me. Onward we would travel, to a huge room with lots of noise and agents talking on their microphones, computers and cell phones simultaneously.
And surrounding these few agents was “the wall”. The wall consists of hundreds of faces on cards, each with unique expressions or poses, playing up their best features. Sexy, serious, playful… there was card after card. Face after face. It wasn’t real, just a pretend world selling pretend images to a world with too much pressure to pretend. This wall looked like a human meat market, in fact that was my name for it. Clients call in, Ford shows the clients hundreds of cards with faces, the client then chooses from the stacks full of faces and then the client’s favorite face is purchased and booked for a photo shoot on an island to take pictures of a fake vacation. Making beauty a business seems like robbing the dignity and sanctity of beauty by turning it into a focus and business soley on the outward appearance, in a capitalist factory. Inward beauty is non existent on the pages of our magazines and catalogs. Inward beauty doesn’t sell or make money.
Beautiful human beings bought from cards and who’s physical anatomy is employed to sell products to a society wishing it had more, was not God’s intention for our lives. Most of us now think we are the uglier folk, we are seduced by outward luster of beauty, wealth, stature, sexuality, companionship. We buy the products maybe even albeit subconsciously so that we feel that we can measure up… even if it’s just a millimeter more.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Meet the Author Date
Thanks to Logos Bookstore in Kent for hosting my "Meet the Author" date on November 27th from 11am-1pm
I hope you can make it to hear about my book and support my ministry PurityTalks.
I'm so excited to see my book out there and hope to get it in as many young women's hands as possible.
If you've already read my book, be sure to pass it along to a young women that might be interested.
Let's face it, we could all use some advise on self image, dating and sex!
Hope to see you on Nov. 27th!
I hope you can make it to hear about my book and support my ministry PurityTalks.
I'm so excited to see my book out there and hope to get it in as many young women's hands as possible.
If you've already read my book, be sure to pass it along to a young women that might be interested.
Let's face it, we could all use some advise on self image, dating and sex!
Hope to see you on Nov. 27th!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Eye Magnets
Are you an eye magnet? Are you dressing to get the attention of any boy that will look your way?
Just so you know, I'm not just talking to young girls...I'm talking to you mom's out there too!
Admit it. We like attention in this area right? At ANY age it feels good to get noticed.
Why?
What is it that we are hoping for by doing this?
Is it love?
Is it eternal bliss?
Is it just for a moments pleasure? Because as a mom sometimes I don't always feel "hot" anymore
Why?
Well, one reason(which is a HUGE reason) is because we are told by the media and all around us what we should look like. The images we see on magazines and television tell us that we HAVE to look this way to be beautiful or to get popularity.
So, that's one reason we do it. Because we want to be "in" and not feel left out because we are differnet. Right?
The second reason is because we, as girls(young and old) feel that if a boy looks at us then he must want us forever...he wants to be our boyfriend, he took a second look so he desires to be with me and ONLY me.
Wrong!
He's thinking of you in a way that might surprise you.
He isn't looking at your cute outfit(which the word "cute" these days is usually revealing in some way, not just fashionable)
Girls, sorry to say, but he's checking out your body, and only your body. And it's not just the cute boys in school, it's the older men as well. Much older men. I"m talking gray hair older...
Now, some of you are getting grossed out, while some of you are like" yeah, I want them to think I'm sexy"
So, first let me chat to those who are completely grossed out...don't be.
God created men differently than us. That is just how they think. But then again, what they DO with thoghts is important too...but we'll chat about that later.
It'd kind of like if a delicious chocolate candy bar were sitting on your table and you were told to not eat it... it would be calling your name all day...you would look at it constantly just wishing you could enjoy it. That's what us "eye magnets" or "eye candy" (that's why they call it that) are like to these boys. They can't help but look because we are making the outside look soooo good. (another topic on INward beauty vs. Outward beauty at a later chat)
Now, to you who are saying" yeah, I want them to think I'm sexy"...girls, this is NOT the type of relationship that you want. If that is the only reason a boy gives you attention then your heart will be stomped on for sure. These types of relationships don't last. Your not going to get the love that you desire from it. You'll just simply be used. It might seem good for a moment, but most of the time you'll be thrown away like the eaten chocolate candy wrapper.
Sounds harsh, I know. But true.
Listen to these words written by Shaunti Feldhahn who wrote the book "For Women Only"...
"Women who are totally clueless about this problem(dressing in these ways)can also thoughtlessly contribute to it. Afterall the images in a man's head had to come from somewhere-and it's not just from pictures. The eye magnets on the street are choosing to dress the way they do. Unfortunately, because many women aren't visual, we may not understand what we are doing to the men around us-a fact that men find hard to believe, by the way. One father asked me why his cautious collegeaged daughter dressed in tight little tops and skirts around a particular guy she found attractive. "Surely," this father said, " surely she knows what she'd doing'"
"Yes, "I agreed. " She knows she looks good,but she doesn't know what is really going on in that guy's head. What she's smugly thinking is that guy thinks I"m cute."
"Cute has nothing to do with it!" the shocked father replied. " He's picturing her naked!"
And THAT is what we often don't get. Many women are just longing for male love and attention, not realizing that the resulting attention is the WRONG kind and has nothing to do with love."
Wow. This is something I did not know growing up.
Now let me say this quickly cause i know this post is long...God doesn't make mistakes. He created men to be visual. And everything that He created was good. Men are going to struggle for the rest of their lives with this temptation...and that is just what it is...a temptation. But what he chooses to do with that temptation is a different story. He can choose to act upon it by continuing to look or lust on that girl or image...or he can choose to look away or flee from the situation.
So, knowing all of this leads me to this question...what are YOU going to do about this?
Are you going to continue to post pictures of yourself in a bikini for all to enjoy your fab sexy body?
Are you going to show up at school with your tight, short skirt to get "Joe" to say hi, or do a double take?
Or are you going to choose to support and encourage those men in your life by dressing modestly? (and yes, modest can be fashionable too) :)
Let these guys get to know your heart. Who you are INside.
Take care of your OUTward appearance by simply taking good care of yourself(exercise, healthy food choices, spiritual well being) but make your focus on WHO you are...as a person...as the woman God created.
What are your thoughts?
Just so you know, I'm not just talking to young girls...I'm talking to you mom's out there too!
Admit it. We like attention in this area right? At ANY age it feels good to get noticed.
Why?
What is it that we are hoping for by doing this?
Is it love?
Is it eternal bliss?
Is it just for a moments pleasure? Because as a mom sometimes I don't always feel "hot" anymore
Why?
Well, one reason(which is a HUGE reason) is because we are told by the media and all around us what we should look like. The images we see on magazines and television tell us that we HAVE to look this way to be beautiful or to get popularity.
So, that's one reason we do it. Because we want to be "in" and not feel left out because we are differnet. Right?
The second reason is because we, as girls(young and old) feel that if a boy looks at us then he must want us forever...he wants to be our boyfriend, he took a second look so he desires to be with me and ONLY me.
Wrong!
He's thinking of you in a way that might surprise you.
He isn't looking at your cute outfit(which the word "cute" these days is usually revealing in some way, not just fashionable)
Girls, sorry to say, but he's checking out your body, and only your body. And it's not just the cute boys in school, it's the older men as well. Much older men. I"m talking gray hair older...
Now, some of you are getting grossed out, while some of you are like" yeah, I want them to think I'm sexy"
So, first let me chat to those who are completely grossed out...don't be.
God created men differently than us. That is just how they think. But then again, what they DO with thoghts is important too...but we'll chat about that later.
It'd kind of like if a delicious chocolate candy bar were sitting on your table and you were told to not eat it... it would be calling your name all day...you would look at it constantly just wishing you could enjoy it. That's what us "eye magnets" or "eye candy" (that's why they call it that) are like to these boys. They can't help but look because we are making the outside look soooo good. (another topic on INward beauty vs. Outward beauty at a later chat)
Now, to you who are saying" yeah, I want them to think I'm sexy"...girls, this is NOT the type of relationship that you want. If that is the only reason a boy gives you attention then your heart will be stomped on for sure. These types of relationships don't last. Your not going to get the love that you desire from it. You'll just simply be used. It might seem good for a moment, but most of the time you'll be thrown away like the eaten chocolate candy wrapper.
Sounds harsh, I know. But true.
Listen to these words written by Shaunti Feldhahn who wrote the book "For Women Only"...
"Women who are totally clueless about this problem(dressing in these ways)can also thoughtlessly contribute to it. Afterall the images in a man's head had to come from somewhere-and it's not just from pictures. The eye magnets on the street are choosing to dress the way they do. Unfortunately, because many women aren't visual, we may not understand what we are doing to the men around us-a fact that men find hard to believe, by the way. One father asked me why his cautious collegeaged daughter dressed in tight little tops and skirts around a particular guy she found attractive. "Surely," this father said, " surely she knows what she'd doing'"
"Yes, "I agreed. " She knows she looks good,but she doesn't know what is really going on in that guy's head. What she's smugly thinking is that guy thinks I"m cute."
"Cute has nothing to do with it!" the shocked father replied. " He's picturing her naked!"
And THAT is what we often don't get. Many women are just longing for male love and attention, not realizing that the resulting attention is the WRONG kind and has nothing to do with love."
Wow. This is something I did not know growing up.
Now let me say this quickly cause i know this post is long...God doesn't make mistakes. He created men to be visual. And everything that He created was good. Men are going to struggle for the rest of their lives with this temptation...and that is just what it is...a temptation. But what he chooses to do with that temptation is a different story. He can choose to act upon it by continuing to look or lust on that girl or image...or he can choose to look away or flee from the situation.
So, knowing all of this leads me to this question...what are YOU going to do about this?
Are you going to continue to post pictures of yourself in a bikini for all to enjoy your fab sexy body?
Are you going to show up at school with your tight, short skirt to get "Joe" to say hi, or do a double take?
Or are you going to choose to support and encourage those men in your life by dressing modestly? (and yes, modest can be fashionable too) :)
Let these guys get to know your heart. Who you are INside.
Take care of your OUTward appearance by simply taking good care of yourself(exercise, healthy food choices, spiritual well being) but make your focus on WHO you are...as a person...as the woman God created.
What are your thoughts?
Monday, September 27, 2010
I can't get no...satisfaction...
Okay so you might be a little young to remember this song"Satisfaction" but if you do remember...take a minute and sing it at the top of your lungs right now!
I can't get no...satisfaction...
but I try, I try, I try
I TRY-uh eye
I can't get no satisfaction...
no no no
you ever feel this way?
Like you are spinning your wheels just trying to get some satisfaction in life? But you never really seem to feel it?
You work hard at going to college to get a good degree to land the best job ever, then you land the best job ever, you make lots of hard earned cash, you spend your hard earned cash, you get the man/woman of your choice, you get that car you've always wanted, you change your wardrobe with every new trend, you buy the bigger house-because well, why would you want a smaller one? You go to fancy restaurants, you take fun vacations...you marry that man/woman that you've always dreamed of, you work out to get that amazing body...
although all these things are nice...they just don't seem to fill the void deep inside your heart.
Ever feel this way?
Ever desire something more?
Ever wonder if there is something out there that will SATISFY your deepest longing? Something that is far different than anything you've ever achieved or earned?
Is there something out there?
I know for me, I longed for it. I spent a lot of my life searching for something or someone to fill my void in my life. So, I filled it with fashion, and friends, activities, material stuff, boys....
Never felt satisfied.
Never.
Because nothing here, on this earth will EVER satisfy your deepest desires.
Wow. That's pretty harsh, you say. You are more than welcome to call me an idiot if you want.
But I know. I searched. I've been there. But end your search for satisfaction right now. You just won't find it in the places this world is telling you that you'll find it. It's just not here.
Listen to this....
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Col. 2:2
"you are always with me, you uphold me with your right hand, you guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you...
"and EARTH has NOTHING I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail but GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 76:23-26
This are the words that I found. This is the same God who kept whispering my name my whole life to come back to Him. I finally listened and am satisfied in Him. He fills me in ways that nothing or NO ONE could ever do. Is life perfect? Heck no! I still need to be reminded...but now I have this hope.
Are you listening to His whisper?
He is calling out to you.
And just so you know...nothing could ever separate you from His love. No past failures, no life long mistakes...no current mistakes...NOTHINg can separate you from His love. He just simply loves you...
I can't get no...satisfaction...
but I try, I try, I try
I TRY-uh eye
I can't get no satisfaction...
no no no
you ever feel this way?
Like you are spinning your wheels just trying to get some satisfaction in life? But you never really seem to feel it?
You work hard at going to college to get a good degree to land the best job ever, then you land the best job ever, you make lots of hard earned cash, you spend your hard earned cash, you get the man/woman of your choice, you get that car you've always wanted, you change your wardrobe with every new trend, you buy the bigger house-because well, why would you want a smaller one? You go to fancy restaurants, you take fun vacations...you marry that man/woman that you've always dreamed of, you work out to get that amazing body...
although all these things are nice...they just don't seem to fill the void deep inside your heart.
Ever feel this way?
Ever desire something more?
Ever wonder if there is something out there that will SATISFY your deepest longing? Something that is far different than anything you've ever achieved or earned?
Is there something out there?
I know for me, I longed for it. I spent a lot of my life searching for something or someone to fill my void in my life. So, I filled it with fashion, and friends, activities, material stuff, boys....
Never felt satisfied.
Never.
Because nothing here, on this earth will EVER satisfy your deepest desires.
Wow. That's pretty harsh, you say. You are more than welcome to call me an idiot if you want.
But I know. I searched. I've been there. But end your search for satisfaction right now. You just won't find it in the places this world is telling you that you'll find it. It's just not here.
Listen to this....
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." Col. 2:2
"you are always with me, you uphold me with your right hand, you guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you...
"and EARTH has NOTHING I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail but GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 76:23-26
This are the words that I found. This is the same God who kept whispering my name my whole life to come back to Him. I finally listened and am satisfied in Him. He fills me in ways that nothing or NO ONE could ever do. Is life perfect? Heck no! I still need to be reminded...but now I have this hope.
Are you listening to His whisper?
He is calling out to you.
And just so you know...nothing could ever separate you from His love. No past failures, no life long mistakes...no current mistakes...NOTHINg can separate you from His love. He just simply loves you...
Friday, September 17, 2010
Fun in the Sun...
I just got back from sunny Florida where temperatures were a hot 90 degrees each day. I love the sun. I find joy closing my eyes and soaking it all it. Before leaving for vacation I had made an appointment with a dermatologist to take a look at a few moles on my body that I thought were of some concern. Turns out that they were of no concern at all, but she did tell me that my wearing 5o sunscreen did nothing for me at all-my Italian blood still tanned a little. She told me that the body's defense mechanism is to tan to let you know that you need to get out of the sun! Kind of like when you get goose bumps when your cold. Crazy! I thought it was just a fun way of expressing to everyone that I just got back from vacation. :)
Yes, I know that coming back tan is fun and it gives your skin such a fresh sun-kissed look but I think I need to reconsider my thoughts. I don't want cancer, I don't want my kids to get skin damage at a young age. So you'll be seeing me with hats, sunglasses, and fully covered at the beach to protect the skin that God gave me.
On that same note, (sorry not a great segway), as we were in the sunny state of Florida I noticed a lot about women.
One being that women love to compare themselves to other women. I'm guilty too. Very guilty. In fact, my hubby actually caught me in the act of comparing. Yep, he did. After we returned he asked me about it. I didn't remember the particular situation he was talking about (well, because I was doing ALOT of comparing-yikes). I go around speaking to young women about self image and here I was comparing myself to other women wondering why I was so weirdly shaped, or why my hair was so frizzy during hot temperatures, or why my face looked so blahhhh.....(I had time to think about these things while standing in line at Disneyworld and looking around at the half dressed girls around me).
So here's the question. How can we as women stop this? We are only hurting ourselves. I am a confident person & I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin(generally). But I STILL do this and it still hurts my heart. I've talked with lots of women (beautiful and ordinary) and they all tell me the same thing. They ALL struggle with it. Even gorgeous models who you'd think are perfect struggle with this.
Can't we just be happy with who we are and stop comparing ourselves to others?
I want this. I want this for my two daughters.
I want my INside to be so radiant that others want to know what it is that makes me that way. I want to focus on my Inward beauty more often than my outward beauty.
Yes, it is important to take good care of ourselves. Eat right, exercise...but spending too much time in front of the mirror and comparing our outward selves to others is so not good for our hearts.
I once heard a mom say, "take time to make yourself look pleasing, but as soon as you walk out the door focus on others"
I love this.
If our focus is on loving others and not comparing ourselves with others, I think our hearts begin to become so radiant that it makes our OUTside radiant too.
"Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others." I Corin. 10:24
Monday, August 16, 2010
"Test drive the car before you buy it..."
I hate car shopping! I really do. Just the thought of the stress of the long day makes me feel sick. I hate walking into the dealership with the salesmen hunting you like their next meal. They walk up with their fake smiles trying so desperately to make a good first impression so you'll buy a car from them so that they can have a paycheck. Okay, okay, maybe I"m being a little harsh...I have run into some really nice car salesmen but admit it this is the typical scenario you run into right?
But I"m not writing today to chat about the salesmen...I'm here to chat about the car.
Aww the new smell, the feel of the shiney wheel beneath your fingertips, the gadgets that are WAY better then your last car so you just HAVe to touch each button on the dash. A new car. There's nothing quite like that feeling.
So, here's a question for you...would you ever just buy a car before taking it for a spin? Would you write out that first car payment check before you felt the way it drove? Would you brag about it to your friends before you even saw it and felt it? What if it smelled? What if it was all beat up? What if it just didn't ride like you had hoped. What if you hated everything about it?
You probably wouldn't buy it right?
This is how many describe relationships to me. "You gotta test drive the car before you buy it" they say...
or If it's not about cars it's about trying on a new pair of shoes..."you gotta make sure the shoe fits" they say...
Interesting.
It makes perfect sense. Right?
But the question is...do I want to be common?
Do I want the same heartache that everyone else is feeling due to this way of thinking?
Well, when I was in the dating world it's not that I actually had this thought process, I just wanted a boy to like me so I went out with whoever, and did whatever if it felt right. I just wanted to be accepted. I guess if I would have heard this idea of "trying before buying" then I would have bought into the same things.
So what am I really talking about here? Yep. Sex. This is the new way of thinking. If you don't like the way sex feels with this person then don't date them. Just have sex, try it out, if it's good then they are a good canidate for a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Hmmmm...
What has happened to our minds??
Sex and relationships were not supposed to be catagorized in the same venue as buying cars or clothing...it's so much more relational than that. If you try before you buy (what I really mean is have sex before your married) then you are setting yourself up for heartache after heartache. Broken relationships will only come out of it. I know. I've been there.
How about trying a different approach?
A friend of mine always says "let's be uncommon." I love this idea. Being uncommon.
About two years ago I went around to a local college campus to chat about this very thing...I'd like you to check it out...just go to my past post under the title "Sex before marriage, what do you think?"
Now what's your opinion?
But I"m not writing today to chat about the salesmen...I'm here to chat about the car.
Aww the new smell, the feel of the shiney wheel beneath your fingertips, the gadgets that are WAY better then your last car so you just HAVe to touch each button on the dash. A new car. There's nothing quite like that feeling.
So, here's a question for you...would you ever just buy a car before taking it for a spin? Would you write out that first car payment check before you felt the way it drove? Would you brag about it to your friends before you even saw it and felt it? What if it smelled? What if it was all beat up? What if it just didn't ride like you had hoped. What if you hated everything about it?
You probably wouldn't buy it right?
This is how many describe relationships to me. "You gotta test drive the car before you buy it" they say...
or If it's not about cars it's about trying on a new pair of shoes..."you gotta make sure the shoe fits" they say...
Interesting.
It makes perfect sense. Right?
But the question is...do I want to be common?
Do I want the same heartache that everyone else is feeling due to this way of thinking?
Well, when I was in the dating world it's not that I actually had this thought process, I just wanted a boy to like me so I went out with whoever, and did whatever if it felt right. I just wanted to be accepted. I guess if I would have heard this idea of "trying before buying" then I would have bought into the same things.
So what am I really talking about here? Yep. Sex. This is the new way of thinking. If you don't like the way sex feels with this person then don't date them. Just have sex, try it out, if it's good then they are a good canidate for a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Hmmmm...
What has happened to our minds??
Sex and relationships were not supposed to be catagorized in the same venue as buying cars or clothing...it's so much more relational than that. If you try before you buy (what I really mean is have sex before your married) then you are setting yourself up for heartache after heartache. Broken relationships will only come out of it. I know. I've been there.
How about trying a different approach?
A friend of mine always says "let's be uncommon." I love this idea. Being uncommon.
About two years ago I went around to a local college campus to chat about this very thing...I'd like you to check it out...just go to my past post under the title "Sex before marriage, what do you think?"
Now what's your opinion?
