How do you measure up?

"Get a body you'll love"
"Tone your trouble zones"
"The Girl's guide to pretty hair"
"Bikini ready in 4 weeks"

These are just some of the headlines in a recent magazine.

I used to look at these magazines quite often thinking it was fun to find out what was in and what was out. What I found was that I was "out" more often than not. I never measured up to the standards that these magazines were telling me to live up to. I didn't feel good about myself after leafing through colored pages of half naked, perfectly beautiful women who apparently never ate a bite.

Have you ever felt this way? I'm in my 30's now and I still struggle with self image. I think it is a battle that women face each day especially because what we see in movies, magazine and on billboards tells us that there is NO WAY for us to measure up to this image.

When we were little girls we'd dress up in princess costumes and twirl around the room just waiting for someone to say how lovely we were. When my daughter was only 3 years old she'd dress up and say to her daddy, " Am I beautiful Daddy?" Don't I look lovely?"
She wanted to be admired by the only man in her life. She desired to feel lovely.

So the question is...do you feel lovely? Are you wondering if someone will ever notice you?

Check this out..."You made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex. Your workmanship is marvelous. and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Everday of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. " Psalm 139:13-16

God thinks your lovely. He created you. He notices you.

In Proverbs 31 it talks about this amazing women of beauty. She "extends her hand to the needy, she is clothed with strength and dignity, her words are wise...charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised..."

you see, true beauty is within you heart.Your beauty overflows when you focus on your INward beauty. Your heart has been created as a reflection of God's own heart.
So girls, what are you doing to your hearts by looking at these types of magazines? Do they help or hurt the way you feel about yourself? Read something that empowers you and lifts you up! And above all else guard your heart. "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." Prov. 4:23
Ask God what He thinks of you. Read Psalm 139:13-16 over and over again.

You are beautiful...

Purity is Important After All...

Have you ever seen this video? It's a little cheesy but it says so much. Would you drink from a bottle of used water that someone else drank from? Would you share it with a stranger? How about multiple strangers? I think I would prefer to choose the unopened untouched bottle that still has the safety cap on it. Why you ask? I dunno, maybe it's just gross. Strangers drank from it, there are a gazillion germs that could be floating in there...you name it. I'm going for the clean, unused water.

So, does purity really mater? Good question. Yes, of course it does! Even in this case. It's just plain better to be unopened, untouched, ungermified(yes, I know that is not really a word)...do you get what I mean?

So what happens now? What if it was already opened, what if it was already used, what if it is no longer pure? Are you ever going to have a chance at pure water again? Tell me what you think?

Jonny Diaz 'A More Beautiful You'

How far is too far?

Have you been in a relationship where you had to say to yourself, "I'm only going to go THIS far." ?
Have you set up boundaries of how far you will go physically?
I always did. I set up these road blocks in the beginning of my relationships with my boyfriends. I'd say, " Okay, my youth pastor just told us that having sex is BAD so I certainly can't do THAT. So I'll just kiss him..." or "I'll just let him do THIS to me" etc....

you get the picture right?

First of all, let me explain one very important thing...SEX is not bad. Actually just the opposite, it is rather AMAZING and it is ALL good. God created it. So it is good. But it is intended for marriage. Listen to this, " ...for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his WIFE, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2: 24

One flesh. That sounds pretty amazing doesn't it? One flesh tells me that it is very intimate, very personal, very spiritul. For only ONE person. They(Adam and Eve) were united.

Sex is relational. And that is God. He is relational. That is why He created us.

So, back to those road blocks we put up...if sex is so good and only supposed to be for marriage then why do we even bother with setting up boundaries? Why don't we just say, "Nope sorry, I can't go there AT ALL, I'm saving my intimate ONEness for my future spouse. Because I want it to be that good."
Can you imagine?
Man, I wish I was that smart...
Think about it...how do you determine how FAR is TOO far anyway?

Listen to this..."He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe." Proverbs 28:26

I just read some wise words from a study that I was doing earlier this morning..
1. The further you go, the faster you go.
2.The further you go, the further you WANT to go.
3. The further you go, the harder it is to go back. (God did not design you to go back. He designed us to move forward sexually. Consequently, it is almost impossible to permanently retreat to safety once certain lines have been crossed)

Where you draw the line determines...

1)the arena of your temptation-if you draw the line at kissing then you have determined what you will be tempted to do next. When you set standards you also determine your temptation.

2)the intensity of the temptation-temptation increases with increased passion and passion increases as a couple moves closer and closer to intercourse.

3)the consequence of giving in to the temptation-if a couple decides to draw the line at holding hands then one night they kiss-what are the consequences? A touch of guilt-maybe strep throat...:) But if a couple has drawn the line at the edge of intercouse...you get the picture.

So, you in a sense are determining your own destiny by choosing where you draw the line.

Take it a step further now...How far would I want my future spouse to go with the person they date before meeting me?

Yikes.

That is a lot of emotional loss if this whole sex thing is so relational...and it really is.

Guard your heart people. Guard it. In Proverbs 4:23 it says, " Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

Sex can be unbelievably fulfilling(and fun). Or sex can leave a person feeling used and empty.

Which do you suppose God intended?

I know that God intended it for good...to be fulfilling...that is why He created it...for marriage. Having sex outside of that union will leave you feeling empty and used. I know this full well. I've been there.

God has created you with the potential to experience great sex. (high five to God)

So, what now? What do you do next if you've already gone too far?

Take some time to map out your moral boundaries...plan on guarding your heart from here on out. For it is the WELLSPRING of LIFE! Then think. Think. Think. Ask yourself the question, " would I want my future spouse to do this...?"

It saves a lot of heartache if you just wait. Wait for the one God has planned for you in marriage. It will be worth every moment of waiting....

Does purity REALLY matter?

Why wait? Why remain pure? Does it really matter?

What are your thoughts...?

"You be the prince and I'll be the princess"

I sat watching an 8 year old sing a song by Taylor Swift at a rehearsal for my daughter's talent show the other night. She was adorable. Little red ringlets filled her head and her voice was sweet. I sat trying to figure out the words for she had a little lisp as she sang & I have never heard the song before. But I did get the gist of the song...it was about a girl waiting for her prince. How her mom & dad don't approve of the prince but she loved him anyway. She was going to wait for him & they were planning on running away together. The story of Romeo and Juliet.

It was quite obvious that this little girl loved this song. In fact, as I was watching I noticed other little girls of EVERY age mouthing the words. Even the mom's.

I believe it is in every woman's heart to be the princess. We desire this prince to pursue us and whisk us away to live happily ever after. It's true. Really.

This is a beautiful trait in a woman. I believe God gave us this desire to want to be pursued.

But, I have found that a lot of us "girls" are often dissapointed when this pursuing never really occurs. At first it seems like a fairy tale, happily ever after...yet things get old. Relationships die, people walk away when it gets hard. This high doesn't always last forever.

I have been married for 15 years now. I married the man of my dreams. He really loves & takes care of me in ways that I don't even understand sometimes. Yet, even though we have a fantastic relationship it sometimes gets stagnet. I think he'd agree. We just go about life and sometimes forget about who we really are and what we each desire. We have to remember. We have to make an effort to keep the flame glowing.

Most relationships fail due to these facts.

This is not the case with our God, our Heavenly Father. He pursues us endlessly. He desires & loves us unconditionally. He will be the only true prince in your life. No matter how far and wide you search. He is always there for you...just waiting...waiting for your Love.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

Those around you might fail you, they might hurt you, but God is all you need. His love lasts forever. Sing to him, "You be the prince and I'll be the princess..."

Defining Worth...

I want to go back to the issue of self worth. Because I think that is where the heart of this purity issue begins.

I hear so many stories of young girls cutting themselves because they don't feel they are worth anything but pain. They hurt themselves in this way because it makes them feel physical pain instead of the deep emotional pain...because sometimes the emotional pain is harder to deal with. More and more I hear these stories and it breaks my heart. I want to reach out and say "you are loved more than you'll ever know". Yet to these girls, they have no idea what that even means. Maybe they have never heard those words before. Maybe they are told the opposite on a daily basis so how could they know?

Some stories I hear, and some I've lived is that you know that your parents love you, but you just can't measure up to the standards that the world and media have put us at. So therefore, we don't feel worth much of anything. Yeah, we might think we are okay, but the truth is that there are sooo many others out there better than us because of their perfect...well, EVERYTHING.

Do you know what I mean?

Have you felt un-loved because you don't measure up to those around you?

I know I have.

I've felt insecure because of the way I looked.

I think deep down, we ALL have. Even the ones WE think are "perfect".

But I want you to hear these words...I mean let them dig deep into your heart. Just try.

"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb, I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

It is okay to say that you are having difficulty believing that God loves you or that you are "fearfully" and "wonderfully made", if that is how you feel. You see God is greater than your hurts or your weaknesses. And He can change the way that you feel about yourself.

Understanding our self worth is the beginning of the process. The next step is to change how we think about ourselves. If we believe what is written in the Psalms then we can begin to reclaim the positive thoughts that He says about us and towards us. Instead of saying," I will never amount to anything" we can begin to say,"I am God's daughter, and He made me and He loves me and I know that He has a plan for my life and He will help me understand it"

So what does this have to do with purity? Well, many girls try to find this love through men. That's what I did. I longed for love and attention so I found it through the words and attention that they gave me. And soon, I was doing things just to be accepted. "If I do this, then they will love me forever".

Nope. If they loved me then they would have waited for me.

True unconditional love comes from your Heavenly Father. No one, noTHING on this earth will fill those voids.

Now read those words again...

"For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb, I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know full well." Psalm 139:13-14