Be sure to order tickets for our next PurityTalks event. Girls ages 13 and up won't want to miss this!
http://www.olmstedperformingarts.com/events/event/puritytalks-conference-girl-2-girl-chats-about-self-image-dating-sex-purity/
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
Mother/Daughter Chats
I was talking with a father the other day and he said something that shocked me. He told me that he had a 15 year old daughter and he was throwing her a birthday party. He wanted to plan a role playing game so that her and her friends could do something fun and different since they were all theater girls. He was planning on being the MC for the night and kind of walk the girls through the game. I was impressed at first because I thought this man was trying to relate and be a part of his daughters life. I told him how impressed I was at his involvement and he said, " No way, I'm just trying to make her happy. All she does is yell at me and I'm trying to get her out of the house. I'm not trying to make friends with her. She is driving me crazy. "
And he was serious. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. How sad for him to give up on his 15year old when that age is when she'll need her daddy the most. Just because she says she wanted him out of her life, does not REALLY mean that she does.
Since the moment my daughters were born I couldn't wait to have girl to girl chats with them as they got older. I had always said that I wanted to be the kind of mom who they could talk to about anything and everything. We have always been good communicators in this little family of ours and I just knew that "these talks" would come very easily.
Wrong!!!
My daughters faces turn 50 shades of RED and they hush me every time I bring a "personal something" up. They don't even like to mention the fact that they have to shave their legs. They are totally embarrassed by me and my outgoing approach on these topics.
This is something I never anticipated going into being a mom of 2 daughters. Especially since PurityTalks is all about these moments and conversations.
I thought we'd paint our nails chatting about sex and boys and all their friends would think I was the coolest mom of all!
Nope. Not quite there yet.
My girls are uniquely fabulous. They amaze me daily at their creativity and level of deepness. They are not girly girls at all. I'm ok with that. I am not a girly girl myself. I like to get dirty, shoot bow and arrows and I long for adventure while I hike in the woods.
But I so desperately want my girls to know that it's ok to be feminine. It's okay to love getting dressed up and looking gorgeous. It's okay to talk about the boy that is totally adorable. It's okay that you have to shave your legs because you are Italian and your hair grows like a monkey. It's okay to cry and admit that your heart is breaking. This is how God created us. Women. Messy, beautiful women. In His image. Nothing to be ashamed of.
I decided to try a new approach. Since my book came out 4 years ago I knew that my girls were not old enough to read it yet. Even though they have asked to read it, I have always told them that I would let them when I felt they were ready to hear it. I kinda figured that 13 would be the appropriate age.
Well my oldest is 13 now and I knew that she was mature and ready to hear. She needs to hear my personal journey through those awkward years so she can relate a bit. I asked her if she would take a few nights and sit with me to read it. To my surprise, she enthusiastically agreed and we sat together cuddled under a blanket on a cold night reading my story. We laughed. We cried. Each time I stopped, she'd beg to go on. She wanted to hear more. She longed to know my story.
It made me realize that even though these times might be difficult and these moments might be hard to break through, we NEED to share our stories. Deep down they long for it. Our children need our life experiences shared so they can understand the WHYS to not doing something.
We preach, we teach, we punish, we encourage, we are constantly saying" don't do this, don't do that" but are we sharing the WHYS?
This is the best way to teach & mold our kids.
I am learning everyday. Everyday. I'm learning that I have a long way to go before I am the coolest mom around. But I'm going to continue to love, teach, encourage and share.
And he was serious. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. How sad for him to give up on his 15year old when that age is when she'll need her daddy the most. Just because she says she wanted him out of her life, does not REALLY mean that she does.
Since the moment my daughters were born I couldn't wait to have girl to girl chats with them as they got older. I had always said that I wanted to be the kind of mom who they could talk to about anything and everything. We have always been good communicators in this little family of ours and I just knew that "these talks" would come very easily.
Wrong!!!
My daughters faces turn 50 shades of RED and they hush me every time I bring a "personal something" up. They don't even like to mention the fact that they have to shave their legs. They are totally embarrassed by me and my outgoing approach on these topics.
This is something I never anticipated going into being a mom of 2 daughters. Especially since PurityTalks is all about these moments and conversations.
I thought we'd paint our nails chatting about sex and boys and all their friends would think I was the coolest mom of all!
Nope. Not quite there yet.
My girls are uniquely fabulous. They amaze me daily at their creativity and level of deepness. They are not girly girls at all. I'm ok with that. I am not a girly girl myself. I like to get dirty, shoot bow and arrows and I long for adventure while I hike in the woods.
But I so desperately want my girls to know that it's ok to be feminine. It's okay to love getting dressed up and looking gorgeous. It's okay to talk about the boy that is totally adorable. It's okay that you have to shave your legs because you are Italian and your hair grows like a monkey. It's okay to cry and admit that your heart is breaking. This is how God created us. Women. Messy, beautiful women. In His image. Nothing to be ashamed of.
I decided to try a new approach. Since my book came out 4 years ago I knew that my girls were not old enough to read it yet. Even though they have asked to read it, I have always told them that I would let them when I felt they were ready to hear it. I kinda figured that 13 would be the appropriate age.
Well my oldest is 13 now and I knew that she was mature and ready to hear. She needs to hear my personal journey through those awkward years so she can relate a bit. I asked her if she would take a few nights and sit with me to read it. To my surprise, she enthusiastically agreed and we sat together cuddled under a blanket on a cold night reading my story. We laughed. We cried. Each time I stopped, she'd beg to go on. She wanted to hear more. She longed to know my story.
It made me realize that even though these times might be difficult and these moments might be hard to break through, we NEED to share our stories. Deep down they long for it. Our children need our life experiences shared so they can understand the WHYS to not doing something.
We preach, we teach, we punish, we encourage, we are constantly saying" don't do this, don't do that" but are we sharing the WHYS?
This is the best way to teach & mold our kids.
I am learning everyday. Everyday. I'm learning that I have a long way to go before I am the coolest mom around. But I'm going to continue to love, teach, encourage and share.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
God the Healer
I am so thankful for my PurityTalks team who travels with me to tell my story through beautiful and funny skits. I love each of their hearts. What a blessing it is to serve our God alongside of these girls! Last weekend we were at CornerStone Church in Akron, Ohio with about 100 other women and girls chatting about self image, dating, boys, sex, purity and God's grace. We watched as many ladies came forward to let God take over the junk in their lives. What a amazing thing that He does. He wants our junk, He wants us to give up our deepest secrets and let Him move in and through our lives. And He does move! A lot of times we just don't fully submit them over to Him. We hold on to them and are shameful and we continue to beat ourselves up over our pasts. But guess what? God is a God who saves! And He wants to heal your brokenness....right here, right now! Listen to this in Psalm 32:3-5
" When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through all my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. THEN I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, " I will confess my transgressions to the Lord." and you forgave the guilt of my sin."
Can I get an AMEN to that?? He desperately wants our hearts. He will fill you up in ways that are indescribable! He will fill any voids that this world may leave. He is the strength of your heart and your portion forever. He is all you need. Leave your past at His feet. Soak in His grace and love and be free my sisters!
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Vulnerable hearts
I was recently chatting with a young girl who is currently reading my book. One thing she said to me was " I just wish my mom would be willing to talk with me about this stuff like you are."
That hit me hard. Thrilled. Yes, indeed thrilled that another young soul found her way to my book and desired to share her heart with me about what's going on in her life. These are the moments that I live for. I love one on one chats like this.
But what struck so hard was that I am approaching these years with my oldest daughter. Really fast. She just turned 13 and I find it difficult to know when to speak and when to listen. Well, when to listen really. I don't listen well with her. It's funny how easily I can manage a deep, intimate conversation with a stranger yet it is foreign territory with my own daughter at times.
I so desperately want our relationship to be different. I want her to come to me about ANYthing. Yet when that moment comes(and they come often when I'm least expecting it) I blow it! I throw in my "parenting two cents" and blow it!
I sat across the café table listening to this sweet young soul who then said to me, " I want my mom to get excited over what I'm excited over. Why does she have to always parent me? Can't she just simply say 'wow honey that is so exciting. How did that make you feel?' Does she always have to have a teaching moment?"
Yikes. That one hit hard, yet again. That's me. I feel like I always have to have a "teaching" moment with my daughters.
In my defense, I am a homeschool mom and sometimes "teacher" is hard to turn off.
It reminded me of something that happened about a year ago. My lovely, brave, adorable daughter came to me and opened up her heart and said she felt like she had a crush on a boy. I was sooooo unprepared. Blindsided. Then the words came out.
"Well honey, these feelings are normal but it's too early to be acting on these emotions right now. It's not like your gonna marry the kid."
REALLY? Did that just come out of my mouth? Here I am a speaker, an author, a mentor on THESE VERY subjects and THIS is the advise I give my OWN daughter??
My mind went right back to this story as this girl said the words to me, "why can't my mom just get excited over what I'm excited about?"
Yep. I was her mom in this story. I felt like I was talking to my own daughter but through this girl. It could have been MY daughter sitting there with her vulnerable heart open.
So then it got me thinking. If only I could go back to that sweet moment with my daughter and say, " wow, honey that is so exciting. How does that make you feel? What is this boy like?"
If THIS was the response I gave her, I would then be opening up the door to future vulnerable moments like this with her. Trust would happen. She would feel understood because I understood. I mean, come on! We've ALL had "crushes". I just needed to let her talk through hers. The "teaching" moment would come....later. But this moment is rare and sweet and needs to just simply be heard.
Our daughters want our undivided attention in these moments. Our listening ears need to be open and our mouths shut to instruct. They also need to see that we get it. We've been there. Then we need to share our own stories with them. OUR vulnerable hearts need to be open and ready. They sooooo desperately want to hear from us. Not as "teachers" but as girls with stories too.
I'm so glad that I've had more opportunities to listen. She's trusted me with her heart once again. And I'm listening even more now. Because she needs me to. A past mommy failure moment won't stop me from trying again. So mom's, if your having a hard time talking to your daughter...don't give up. She needs you. Keep your vulnerable heart open and ready.
And daughters, if you just can't talk to your mom for whatever reason, be sure to find a Godly woman that you can talk to. Her wisdom will be very valuable to you. Then open up you vulnerable hearts ladies. Be honest. We all struggle with the same things so let's start REALLY talking about it!
That hit me hard. Thrilled. Yes, indeed thrilled that another young soul found her way to my book and desired to share her heart with me about what's going on in her life. These are the moments that I live for. I love one on one chats like this.
But what struck so hard was that I am approaching these years with my oldest daughter. Really fast. She just turned 13 and I find it difficult to know when to speak and when to listen. Well, when to listen really. I don't listen well with her. It's funny how easily I can manage a deep, intimate conversation with a stranger yet it is foreign territory with my own daughter at times.
I so desperately want our relationship to be different. I want her to come to me about ANYthing. Yet when that moment comes(and they come often when I'm least expecting it) I blow it! I throw in my "parenting two cents" and blow it!
I sat across the café table listening to this sweet young soul who then said to me, " I want my mom to get excited over what I'm excited over. Why does she have to always parent me? Can't she just simply say 'wow honey that is so exciting. How did that make you feel?' Does she always have to have a teaching moment?"
Yikes. That one hit hard, yet again. That's me. I feel like I always have to have a "teaching" moment with my daughters.
In my defense, I am a homeschool mom and sometimes "teacher" is hard to turn off.
It reminded me of something that happened about a year ago. My lovely, brave, adorable daughter came to me and opened up her heart and said she felt like she had a crush on a boy. I was sooooo unprepared. Blindsided. Then the words came out.
"Well honey, these feelings are normal but it's too early to be acting on these emotions right now. It's not like your gonna marry the kid."
REALLY? Did that just come out of my mouth? Here I am a speaker, an author, a mentor on THESE VERY subjects and THIS is the advise I give my OWN daughter??
My mind went right back to this story as this girl said the words to me, "why can't my mom just get excited over what I'm excited about?"
Yep. I was her mom in this story. I felt like I was talking to my own daughter but through this girl. It could have been MY daughter sitting there with her vulnerable heart open.
So then it got me thinking. If only I could go back to that sweet moment with my daughter and say, " wow, honey that is so exciting. How does that make you feel? What is this boy like?"
If THIS was the response I gave her, I would then be opening up the door to future vulnerable moments like this with her. Trust would happen. She would feel understood because I understood. I mean, come on! We've ALL had "crushes". I just needed to let her talk through hers. The "teaching" moment would come....later. But this moment is rare and sweet and needs to just simply be heard.
Our daughters want our undivided attention in these moments. Our listening ears need to be open and our mouths shut to instruct. They also need to see that we get it. We've been there. Then we need to share our own stories with them. OUR vulnerable hearts need to be open and ready. They sooooo desperately want to hear from us. Not as "teachers" but as girls with stories too.
I'm so glad that I've had more opportunities to listen. She's trusted me with her heart once again. And I'm listening even more now. Because she needs me to. A past mommy failure moment won't stop me from trying again. So mom's, if your having a hard time talking to your daughter...don't give up. She needs you. Keep your vulnerable heart open and ready.
And daughters, if you just can't talk to your mom for whatever reason, be sure to find a Godly woman that you can talk to. Her wisdom will be very valuable to you. Then open up you vulnerable hearts ladies. Be honest. We all struggle with the same things so let's start REALLY talking about it!
My beautiful daughter and I last summer
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Perfection deception
It's videos like this that remind us that the media is trying to make us believe that we have to be perfect to be beautiful.
I'm so thankful that these videos surfaced so that us girls can face the truth that this type of perfection is un-attainable! The magic of technology has made this woman thinner, tanner, stronger, longer and they even changed her shoe size!
Yet we as women continue to look at these images(in magazines and on the telly) and LONG for what they've got. Every. Time.
I am constantly comparing myself to these images thinking that I am not good enough because I don't look like___________.
But ya know what? That's garbage! Stinky, foul. yucky, ridiculous garbage!
I have to remind myself DAILY that I AM FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made and I AM exactly the way God created me for a reason. I don't NEED to compare myself to anyone. I am learning to love myself for who I am. And you know what? It's a process everyday. Because those lies creep in everyday. It's a constant women's battle.
I want to encourage all the women out there young or old to start looking at yourself as FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made. Tell yourself that daily. Whisper that to yourself in the morning when you first get a glimpse of that slept in matted down crazy unruly hair of yours, write that on a post it note to stumble across when you open up a kitchen door, text it to yourself in the middle of the day then shout it out WHEREVER you are (cuz who really cares who's looking)!
Then believe it.
Believe that truth.
Because it's God's truth whispering to your soul. Desperatly wanting you and I to know it. To REALLY know it.
Then whisper it to someone else. Write it on a post it for someone to find. Text it to someone in the middle of the day. Shout it to a stranger as you pass by on your moped or whatever vehicle you travel this life on(but be careful not to scare them). Let's rally as women and fight off this PERFECTION DECEPTION and not allow the lies to enter anymore.
Ready?
Suit up for battle friends. Spread these truths...
Psalm 139:13-16
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Blogger break
If your visiting my blog for the first time, thank you so much. I pray that you find it helpful in your journey. I hope that you will read my past posts and I always love feedback.
I am going to be taking a bit of a break from blogging here. God has put a new project on my heart that I will be working on throughout the year which will involve a lot of writing. I will come back to this blog at the beginning of next year so please come back for a visit.
My ministry PurityTalks will continue to do speaking engagements. If you need further information on how to book a conference or retreat feel free to contact our team at any time. Also be sure to check out my book, Finding My Pure Heart Again, available online at barnesandnoble.com and amazon.com
Looking forward to hearing from you soon!
Angie
I am going to be taking a bit of a break from blogging here. God has put a new project on my heart that I will be working on throughout the year which will involve a lot of writing. I will come back to this blog at the beginning of next year so please come back for a visit.
My ministry PurityTalks will continue to do speaking engagements. If you need further information on how to book a conference or retreat feel free to contact our team at any time. Also be sure to check out my book, Finding My Pure Heart Again, available online at barnesandnoble.com and amazon.com
Looking forward to hearing from you soon!
Angie
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
My Prince will come....
Remember the old fairy tales about the beautiful princess who is sitting in her castle tower and a handsome prince comes riding on a white horse to rescue her???
Other than in most of the Disney princess movies or in the movie Pretty Woman, does this really happen?
Are you longing to find love, to be rescued...to find that one, true, handsome prince?
Many of us girls are desiring this prince. But will we ever find him? Are there guys out there who are still chivalrous? If so, what does that even look like?
Who is my one, true prince?
Well, I have the answer...
yes, you read that right...I, personally know who He is. These are things that I am writing about in my new book that will be coming out next year. I'd love your input on it as I'm putting the last few chapters together. If you could answer these questions for me...you may have a chance to be in my book and receive a free copy!
1)What does your true prince/princess look like?
2)What are some qualities you desire in your prince/princess?
3) If your a guy...what is one thing you wish girls knew about you? What is your heart saying as a man?
4) If your a girl...Why do you desire a love like this?
I look forward to hearing your responses...
Many of us girls are desiring this prince. But will we ever find him? Are there guys out there who are still chivalrous? If so, what does that even look like?
Who is my one, true prince?
Well, I have the answer...
yes, you read that right...I, personally know who He is. These are things that I am writing about in my new book that will be coming out next year. I'd love your input on it as I'm putting the last few chapters together. If you could answer these questions for me...you may have a chance to be in my book and receive a free copy!
1)What does your true prince/princess look like?
2)What are some qualities you desire in your prince/princess?
3) If your a guy...what is one thing you wish girls knew about you? What is your heart saying as a man?
4) If your a girl...Why do you desire a love like this?
I look forward to hearing your responses...
